Thursday, February 28, 2008

Escape To Neverland

Where to begin? It seems like there is so much to blog about. Friday is Leap Day, I walked into the breakroom at work yesterday at the exact moment the coffee maker started beeping that it was ready, I finally beat Ethel at Wii Bowling (but had to apologize after dancing around her in celebration) and I have rediscovered the Slurpee…and am addicted. Well, that’s if you consider 2-3 a day to be an addictive tendency. But I must say that all of those as post topics paled in comparison when I was perusing the news and found out that Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch is about to go into foreclosure.

Let’s say it does go into foreclosure and someone is stuck trying to sell the place. How do you begin to get people to look at it, or at least get people to look at it seriously? What type of people would be interested in Neverland? After all, it’s kind of like the disgraced version of Graceland, or would that be DisGraceland? Are there that many prospective buyers out there that are looking for a theme park AND a zoo in their back yard? Most would settle for a pool and at best, a strip of grass for Bocce Ball or a BBQ island, but zoo cages and figurines from Peter Pan? It’s hard to not look pretentious at that point.

I mean it has nice front gates and all, looks a lot like the entrance to Disneyland (which we all know is the hallmark of good architecture) and I think the shrubbery was pretty cool (at least according to all those aerial shots taken of it by local news agencies when he was in all that trouble), but does anyone really want to live in Michael Jackson’s home? I don’t use the word cooties lightly, but I think this is a time where cooties should be mentioned. I guess you could buy all the land and then bulldoze everything that Jackson built. Perhaps you could turn it into a Michael Jackson museum…once all the beds are removed. Ok, I know that was bad, but the History of the allegations of what took place in that house are bound to be brought up when talking about Neverland.

I don’t Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’, but I think if you approached most people with the opportunity to buy Michael Jackson’s ranch, they would tell you to Beat It, even though that is kind of inappropriate to talk to someone that way, though I guess it’s just Human Nature to do so. It’s not like we need to consult The Man In The Mirror to help us make a decision like that. I Say, Say, Say that it’s really pretty Black and White here; you either want to buy it or you Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough, whatever the hell that means. The biggest drawback to buying Jackson’s house is that he was a pretty Off The Wall guy and many still think he’s a Smooth Criminal who got away with something pretty awful with what he thought was a PYT. Maybe there is some Ben or Billie Jean out there that would love to have the home of a pop icon, but many would just tell the realtor to Leave Me Alone. After all, when it comes to Michael Jackson these days, most people would tell Jacko that The Way You Make Me Feel is pretty BAD.

Ah heck, I don’t really care who buys Neverland or what they do with it; I just wanted to see how many of Jackson’s songs I could weave into a crappy paragraph essentially about nothing. It was quite a Thriller to me. OK, I should really stop now, but I Never Can Say Goodbye. Please don’t stop reading, I Want You Back. I’ll write a good post, I promise. It’s easy as ABC. I may be no Dancin’ Machine, but I know I can write better. Yeah, that one was overdoing it. Just Blame It On The Boogie. What is wrong with me???????


****If you are still here, remember to get me your questions for Q&A Monday. Have a great weekend and enjoy the extra day we get this year. By the way, why can’t we get an extra day in October or December or June or July? Why an extra day in the dead of winter???****

15 comments:

chefmom said...

I can't even type I'm laughing so hard. You truly amaze me in the fact that you could fit THAT MANY songs into one (or two) paragraphs and it actualy makes some kind of sense. It's a talent Michael!

Terri said...

I love IT! great job incorporating all those titles; especially:

"Smooth Criminal who got away with something pretty awful with what he thought was a PYT".

Genius.

rebecca said...

weaving his songs into the post....genius! loved it and, no, you didn't lose me as a reader...i still think you quite witty and entertaining....

Natalie said...

I thought it was hilarious. Many of those songs are favorites of mine. I am not a big fan of the guy but he had some good tunes.

Who would win in a fight, Kenny Loggins or Michael McDonald?

Patti said...

Funny stuff, Michael. You have a way with words.

Disgraceland - I love it!

Question for Tuesday: Where did the term "bullets" come from when referring to points in an article, letter, blog post, whatever? Wouldn't
"dots" work just as well?

Patti said...

Woops - I meant for Q&A Monday.

FRIGGA said...

Haha, that was pretty funny - and I must say quite talented to get all those song titles to fit in so smoothly :-0

Happy Friday!!! :-)

P.S. How is the Funday Cause going?

kat said...

Lo, how I have missed reading your blog and laughing my ass off. You are so clever.

citizen of the world said...

That's a whole lot of Michael Jackson. Eee hee! Shamona. Woooo!

Selma said...

I'm moonwalking in your honour right now. That was pure comic genius. Hahahaha!

I only have one question this week, Michael, but it's one I've wondered about for a long time.
Why did the chicken really cross the road? I mean, really.

Have a good weekend!

meleah rebeccah said...

It’s hard to not look pretentious at that point.


I cried laughing sofa king hard at this post. you are friggen brilliant.

Odat said...

You crack me up.....in a good way.
lol....

Question: So what's with the Slurpies?????

Just telling it like it is said...

I can't believe that when I was in 6th grade and Micheal Jackson was black that I thought I was going to marry him...all my friends thought I was going to also..I am a shamed..what was I thinking They said because I danced the best of the group it was destiny...can you believe....what a dork I was....

Carrie said...

Ballin'. I just exchanged some old CDs for MJ's #1s and Live Trax by Dave Matthews Band.

I always wondered exactly who would take over NeverLand when MJ .. well, finally crossed the line into Neverland...

DisGraceland. Loves it.

Knight Amigo said...

Awesome blog mate! Stuck my screen to your site for a good hour.

Oh about Neverland... rumor has it that several arab millionaires are lining up for it. The ones building cities on the sea - shouldn't be surprising really. Finding where to put their petrocash is more and more difficult for 'em. Like the one from Abu Dhabi who recently bought a license plate for US$14,213,797.29 in an auction.
But yeah, Michael has friends in these "dry" places.

Here's to you, from the UAE.
:)