Thursday, February 14, 2008

MMMMMM, Fortified Chocolaty Goodness – Just In Time For The Holiday.

CBS 11 television in the Dallas/Fort Worth area recently released the results of an investigation they did that closely examined some of our favorite treats, chocolate. The results, were, well, a bit hairy. Apparently, now there is a new class of chocolate. We have our white chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and the newest – textured chocolate.

Yep, the CBS investigation of different types of chocolates found cat hair, human hair, clothing fibers and even parts of an insect. Wow, that is certainly something to, uh, chew on this Valentines Day. Now not only do we have the choice of chewy nougat filled centers, caramel centers or crunchy centers, we get DNA. Wasn’t the big thing about Lady Godiva the length of her hair? How appropriate that you can get her expensive chocolates with some of that hair in there.

With all of the things they have found in chocolate, maybe some candy company should come out with CSI Chocolates. You buy the chocolate, you dissect it and you figure out what non chocolate elements are in it. It’s fun for the whole family. Heck, you can even pretend you are cracking some gruesome murder scene and then eat the evidence so no one finds it.

I guess Forrest Gump was right after all, life IS like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. Like some remnants of a bug or a strand of a stray cat’s hair, because let’s face it, all the clean and respectable cats are not going to be found around a chocolate processing plant. Instead of Reese’s Pieces, we can get a piece of Reece, in addition of course to Kit’s cat.

Ok, I’m done. I’ll stop focusing on what is in chocolate. After all, today is Valentines Day, so it’s time to put on the Engelburt Humperdink and get to the point of the day - - the luuvvvvv (say that with as deep a voice as possible, it’s a lot more fun). Though to be on the safe side, you might want to give the special lady in your life a lovely bag of beef jerky. When you think about it, beef jerky is the perfect Valentines Day Treat for a woman. It’s tough, hot and spicy. And that’s what she said…






HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY!!




8 comments:

citizen of the world said...

La la la not listening!

Patti said...

This info is enough to make me consider swearing off chocolate. I'll consider it, but I won't do it.

And no beef jerky for me!


Happy Valentine's Day to you too.

Selma said...

We have chocolates in Australia called Furry Friends and Bertie Beetles. Now I know what's in them.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY xoxoxoxo

meleah rebeccah said...

Happy Valentines Day! xxoo

chefmom said...

You really are a piece of work. Here I am reading about textured chocolate. The first thing that came to my mind was the chocolate bar with finely ground espresso beans in it....that kind of texture...not, gag, HAIR!!!
and this "Instead of Reese’s Pieces, we can get a piece of Reece, in addition of course to Kit’s cat." had me in tears! Happy Valentine's day!!
ps-I'm off to go make my own chocolates now, Thanks to this.....

chefmom said...

OH I FORGOT!!!! My Aunt who lives in NYC sent me an e-mail saying she went to MO's Bacon Bar and had a chocolate bar with chopped bacon in it and Fluer de Sel on top. Is that not HEAVEN???

Sizzle said...

"that's what she said"

heh.

also? because of you, i was compelled to eat a grilled cheese sandwich last night.

and yes, this has nothing to do with this actual post. carry on.

Carrie said...

OH for dumb... that's disgusting.