Wednesday, February 06, 2008

The 'I'm Too Busy Watching Election Coverage' Repost: Top Ten (And A Half) Things Said Before Or After My Open-Heart Surgery

I post a Top Ten and a Half List every Friday (or at least I used to -- for a few weeks anyway). Why ten and a half? Because I don’t want to be accused of stealing a great idea, of course…

So, here are the top ten (and a half) things said either before or after my open-heart surgery for valve replacement:

11. That saw isn’t dull, is it?

10. Now, when you cut out the old valve, you’ll wake me up so I can see it, right?

9. Oh, you say you stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night?

8. Say, did you hear the one about the anesthesiologist and the narcoleptic?

7. When I run from now on, will I make sounds like Lee Majors in the Six Million Dollar Man or is that extra?

6. Doc, you did a great job. Let me buy you a steak. Oh, the cow is sacred to you? How about pulled pork then?

5. Does this new valve make me look fat?

4. Can I go home now? I’m starting to lap the old guys when I take my mandatory walks around the nurse’s station.

3. What do you mean you can’t find one of your surgical clamps?

2. Seriously, no one else hears that ticking sound?

And the number one thing said either before or after my open-heart surgery…

1. You’re working on my heart, so explain to me again why you have to put that tube up my…

12 comments:

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Hehe, almost as good as it was the first time around...

meleah rebeccah said...

ha ha ha ha...still funny.

meleah rebeccah said...

there is way too much election coverage *my eyes are bleeding*

AndreAnna said...

My favorite is "does this make me look fat?" LOL

CS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
citizen of the world said...

Anything to distract us from the election coverage, thanks.

(Previous comment deleted because I was in the worng account!)

Odat said...

It's still funny!
Peace

armalicious said...

These are funny...I think I missed these the first time around, so I'm enjoying them now. The ticking sound gets me giggling the most.

kat said...

GaSp!!!!! Shame on you for #6! :)

FRIGGA said...

Did somebody ask for Barry?

Oh wow, I did NOT just say that! I would never give such a blatant hint! ;-)

Patti said...

I read these Wednesday and apparently forgot to comment.

My favorites are 10 and 5 ;-)

Selma said...

Of course that valve doesn't make you look fat; merely windswept and interesting. Too funny!