Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Random Wednesday Bullets

* When your Female Coworker arrives at work with impressions on the skin under her eyes, don’t ask her if she wore goggles on her drive into work. My first clue here was that everyone around me shook their heads as soon as the question left my mouth and began to linger awkwardly in the air. When she puts on her ultra-cool and ultra-hip sunglasses that are all the fashion now to show you how the marks got there, don’t respond by saying ‘your sunglasses look like a damn pair of bug eyes.’ I probably don’t need to explain any of this any further. Just don’t do it.

* Has anyone else seen the Annie Leibovitz Disney World ads yet? If so, have you seen the one with Giselle Bundchen as Wendy, Mikhail Bereznikov as Peter Pan and Tina Fey, yes Tina Fey, as Tinkerbell? Yep, Tina Fey AS Tinkerbell. Those who are regulars to this blog will now understand why I have been reduced to a mass of mumbling, bumbling idiocy…I just hope my boss finds this to be an acceptable excuse for my lack of being able to do anything coherent at work since seeing the ad. Yeah, like it's the first time I've had to make excuses for my work.

* Despite the aging and male pattern baldness, does anyone else think that former advisor to 4 Presidents and current CNN analyst David Gergen is one of the coolest and smartest dudes in the country? I think it’s time to go shopping for a ‘Gergen Power’ T-shirt.

* You begin to realize just how much your children watch and emulate you when as a joke you put Tom Jones’ ‘It’s Not Unusual’ on the karaoke machine and your daughters actually can sing the first few verses and chorus. I found myself smiling that sly, Grinchy smile.

* Who is Amy Winehouse and why do we care so much about her rehab? In more important news, Dolly Parton is having to reschedule some tour dates or something like that because of back pain. Just guess what is causing that pain. Now that folks, is entertainment news!

* I thought it would be fun to go someplace like a Presidential Library and ask one of the guides about a miscellaneous fact about that President and have them completely floored and unaware of that fact. Then I did it. What didn’t occur to me was that because the guide gets to wear a fancy jacket and is actually employed by the Presidential Library, everyone will choose to believe the guide; leaving you looking like an idiot…again. But I swear to you, I KNOW that I read once that President Reagan wore sweats at times on Air Force One so that his pants wouldn’t wrinkle. I just know I did!

* When they were hiring for ‘Super Delegates,’ I must have missed the listing on HotJobs and Monster. I tend to zero in on any job listing that contains the word ‘super.’

* I spend way too much time at work thinking of new acronyms for projects in our department by using the letters A, S and S.

* I can’t believe I forgot to take The Carpenters off of my Ipod before bringing it to work today and plugging into my desktop speaker dock. Well, prior to my coworkers giving me grief about it, I HAD been sitting on top of the world. Is it really my fault if Rainy Days and Mondays through Fridays get me down? Funny enough though, they all longed to be close to me a few hours later when Eddie Kendricks’ Keep On Truckin’ came on.

11 comments:

OMYWORD! said...

Ohhhmmmmm. I'm waiting for the deep thoughts to come...waiting...Ohhhhhmmm.

OK, 'nuffathat. I added you to my Guys I Like blog roll and to my blog pals post. Because, you be a guy I like. I'm enjoying reading your blog in my feedreader. Thanks for continuing to entertain me!

Odat said...

The twins singing Tom Jones???? You're soooo bad. ;-)
Peace

Patti said...

You should teach the twins Dean Martin's "That's Amore" - I'm sure they would like the line about the moon hitting your eye "like a big pizza pie"


Have a good Wednesday. Hope you're feeling better ;-)

Patti said...

Oh! Yes, David Gergen is hunky. About as hunky as Lou "I'm so angry!" Dobbs.

chefmom said...

I nearly choked on my salad at the first bullet. My Mother and my Siter wear glasses like that and I always have to ask if there's a face under those bug eyes. My Father-in-law flew on AFO with Reagan enough times, I might be able to find out if your sweatpants fact is true :)

meleah rebeccah said...

Tina Fey, as Tinkerbell?

what? I had NO IDEA...

Ralph said...

Tom Jones? Why not enjoy this excellent singer as he sings a great lounge lizard standard:

'It's not unusual to blog at any time...'

(Maybe I forgot the real words...)

As for Hot Jobs et al, how about Superhero?

citizen of the world said...

Your poor children. Fortunately their classmates won't know Tom Jones and so won't tease them mercilessly about this.

Selma said...

My son sang 'Green, Green Grass of Home' at a school concert and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Thank God he didn't go with his original choice of 'Sex Bomb.'

rebecca said...

"i don't want to go to to rehab, i don't want to go, no, no..." sorry, that's the only line i know because they kept playing it over and over and now i sound like some recovering crackhead because i can't get it off my mind!!!!

and, yes, i agree, i do wonder myself why dear old dolly has back pains? hmmmm?

you are one witty and funny writer. i just may have to add you to my blogroll!

Carrie said...

Sigh; I've heard ridiculous statements about Ms. Winehouse - like 'shes the most important artist of her generation'... UM excuse me? Right...