Tuesday, February 26, 2008

It’s New And Different Because It’s Random

Lacking the time to prepare and present one cohesive semi-cohesive essay on something of interest, I am taking the easy way out and writing down more random thoughts and calling them bullets to make it sound fancy. Ya know, the same way that folks refer to jeans as dungarees to fancy them up, which is much better than using a Bedazzler to fancy them up. Ok, now let’s spin the wheel and see what randomitivity is in store:

* Happiness is deflating a Whoopie Cushion in front of two 5-year olds. Although truth be told, I may have been giggling harder than Lucy and Ethel.

* Why is it that listening to upbeat Sinatra tunes can put a little bounce in your step? Also, why is it that after listening to the same upbeat Sinatra tunes I find myself saying things like ‘chick,’ ‘ring-a-ding-ding’ and ‘coo-coo baby?’ I’m starting to get some pretty funny looks. They are those type of looks that force you to smell your arm pit to make sure you remembered to put on deodorant in the morning. Come on, we all do it…

* If Coke can mix the taste of coffee and their soda into one fabulous but hard to find beverage, why can’t I reproduce it using the same 2 ingredients?

* If I were a truck driver or fighter pilot, I would want my call sign to be ‘10-4.’ This is because I thrive in a chaotic environment.

* The Chalupa is severely underappreciated as a foodstuff. It’s fun to say, it’s tasty and is cheaper than a Big Mac, but then my first car was cheaper than a Big Mac.

* Doesn’t saying ‘Viz-Tin’ sound much more relaxed, cozy and inviting than saying ‘visiting?’ I know I’m a little late joining the game, but I really want this to be the in-word for ’08. Well, after ‘Obama,’ of course.

* Why is it that in EVERY scene (documentary or entertainment show) ever filmed inside of a bottling plant or other production line since the mid-1970s, the people in front of the camera have to bob up and down and say ‘Schlemiel, Schlimazel?’ Granted, I am not above reproach on this issue, but eventually it’s no longer clever.

* If one (and yes, I am referring to myself) decides to self-publish, can one (yep, still me) still brag about being a published author? You know what, your answer probably doesn’t really matter; I’m sure I’d still brag about it anyway.

* Wouldn’t ‘Feta, Etcetera’ be a great name for a cheese specialty store or deli? It’s certainly better than The Gouda Garage. And I KNOW it beats the name for my coffee/donut shop idea: ‘Mud ‘N Crawlers.’ Unless of course I make it a coffee/donut/bait/tackle shop, because I know that is one demographic that Starbucks forgot. Yep, ya just don't see a lot of fishermen in flannel and waders in line for an iced mocha or carmel mocchiato down at the local Starbucks, do ya?

**And yes, I will probably use the customizable Vanna/Wheel thingy for my next several posts.


Sunshine said...

Mmmmmmmm, chalupa (said in Homer Simpson's voice, who I should have included on the new Zodiac)

And I love me some Frank Sinatra (who, also, should be on there, DAMN!)

Sizzle said...

Because Frank is THE MAN.

I love me some Sinatra.

chefmom said...

I love the Vanna/Wheel thingy! And I would go with "Feta, Etcetera". I think that would be a very cool name. And I think all men get a bigger kick out of whoopie cushions then the kids do. I know mine does!

Anonymous said...

whoopie cushions...aww they would make anyone laugh :)

Natalie said...

Feta Etcetera is pretty freaking awesome. Speaking of cheese. Chimay cheese is one of the most delicious things ever. Look it up.

Patti said...

Feta Etcetera is really creative.

The Gouda Garage isn't bad. How about Eternal Edam?

meleah rebeccah said...


and I am so guilty of the armpit 'check'

Anonymous said...

Feta Etctera is killer. You must open that shop. Just please don't serve a coke/coffee mix. Yigh.

Selma said...

I love it when someone sits on a Whoopie Cushion and it doesn't deflate and you wait and wait for it to happen and when it eventually does it is really explosive and the waiting has made you slightly tense so you just erupt with laughter that leaves you gulping for air and clutching at your sides and then you realise no one in the room is laughing but you and that you have written a sentence that is way too long with far too many 'ands.'

abbersnail said...

Feta, Etcetera? BRILLIANT.

Tell you what, I'll manage the San Francisco branch!