Friday, January 04, 2008

Random Bullet Friday

Well, another year has managed to come around, just like the random thoughts I try to ignore. So here it is, bullet time again…

* Getting a bloody nose while showering gives you the rush that you are in a great horror movie. Just don’t bleed too much or the rush will feel much different.

* Even though all the food and topping selections are tempting, take your time when at the salad bar. Confusing red pepper flakes for bacon bits can really alter the taste of your salad in an unexpected and rather uninviting way.

* Before giving your young children chocolate to eat, please make sure they aren’t wearing brand new outfits.

* No matter how much fun it is, coworkers just don’t appreciate you sounding out the entire theme music to ‘Get Smart’ with all ‘bump, buh, bah, bah’ sounds while you are trying to finish a project before the deadline. They also don’t appreciate the big James Bond ‘whah, whah, whah’ climatic ending. Damn, missed it by that much…

* I’ve been kicking around mottos for the new year. I am torn between ‘Things will be great in ‘08’ and ‘Check back around June to see if this year is any different than the last few.’ One conveys hopeful optimism that springs eternal with the changing of the calendar and the other reflects the gritty urban realism of a haggard old veteran of time. Not really. It’s all I could come up with.

* Is It just me or has it been an awfully long time since we last had a Leap Year? Oh wait, never mind. I just checked my calendar.

* I keep hoping that my employer will pay attention to the requests I keep making seeking the approval of an all grey-Dr. Evil type dress code. I suppose the memo they just sent out reminding ‘everyone’ that Halloween is observed on October 31st could be directed at me.

* I dreamt last night that I watched a documentary about cold cut meats and one about Joseph Stalin’s attempts to fill the Russian Army with Human/Chimp hybrids. I was already to write a great blog post about it and then it was pointed out to me that I REALLY DID watch documentaries about both of those things. Now I ask you, is it sadder that people make documentaries out of stuff like that or that I thoroughly enjoyed watching them? Of course, now I want my own Chimp/Man army. The grass is always greener on the other side I tell ya.

* If I decide to enroll in culinary school I wonder if I’ll be bounced out because I won’t be able to stop asking my instructors ‘yeah, but how will that taste fried?’ History has always looked kindly on risk takers, you know.

* To break up the monotony of a quiet afternoon in the office when you’d swear that the clock has stopped ticking, I thoroughly recommend standing in the hallway and singing Elvis’ ‘Blue Hawaii’ while swaying back and forth in a hula-like (my new favorite word) motion. How do I know? Because I just finished doing it and it works.

* Since Michael Scott is the picture for January in my 2008 ‘The Office’ calendar, every time my boss asks me what I was thinking when I made whatever bad decision/s I know I will make before month’s end, I am just going to point to Michael Scott’s picture and say ‘I am guided by a higher force, sir.’ Seriously, who can argue with an answer like that?

15 comments:

AndreAnna said...

Mike and I got engaged on Leap Year day four years ago - he laughed that we'd never have to celebrate it. Who will be laughing this year? ;)

Natalie said...

Wait, there is a man/chimp army? Why didn't I see that documentary? I'm still saying the slogan for 08 is Lewis News. Not that anything is up on the site yet but it is coming. It really is.

Michael C said...

AA: Why do I hear an evil bwahaha in the back ground? ;-)

Natalie: It was by far the weirdest documentary I have ever seen! I'm so into this Lewis News '08 thing I'm tingly. I hit the site and only saw the front page and wondered 'If this is it?' OK, that was lame...

FRIGGA said...

Okay, seriously - The Office Calendar hanging in my office would rock, now I want one.
And I may be sad, but I think both documentaries sound kinda interesting...

Happy Friday!!! :D

Ladytink_534 said...

Your co-workers must love you! I can just imagine the, "Guess what this guy did at work today..." conversations already.

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Too much food talk. I'm starving, but too scared to eat yet.

notfearingchange said...

happy new year. xo

Open Grove Claudia said...

I absolutely love bullet Friday!! Random thoughts culled together in some sense of order. It's like poetry.

Happy New Year again, Michael!

CS said...

The nosebleed in the shower would be even more fun if you started screaming and then slowly collpsed, pulling the shower curtain down with you. And get someone to YouTube it so you can post it for us.

Candace said...

They also don’t appreciate the big James Bond ‘whah, whah, whah’ climatic ending.

Dude, it's definitely time to get yourself some new coworkers!!

Did the twins' outfits survive?

Selma said...

I am also partial to a bit of Elvis as a means of lessening office monotony. Following the Hawaiian theme however, the 'Hawaiian War Chant' is particularly rousing. It really gets those hula skirts moving!

barb michelen said...

look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site

Tink said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one that watches bizarre documentaries. :)

captain corky said...

I had a doosie of a bloody nose this morning, but as a result my wife and I are contemplating redoing our bathroom in deep red.
Sounds good, doesn't it?

Patti said...

Ralph and I watch a lot of unusual documentaries too. The stuff you can learn!