Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Another Round Of Bullets

* I think that inserting the name Huckabee into any sentence automatically makes that sentence sound dirty. Go ahead, try it. The dirty factor increased, didn’t it?

* Never stick your leg out in wild, goofy excitement as you are doing 40 miles an hour through an old dry desert riverbed while on a quad. You know, if by some random circumstance you get the chance to. Your unbroken ankle will thank you.

* While typing out your daily to-do list at work and it includes items such as ‘callback lady for job interview at _____’ and ‘update blog links,’ don’t print it while EVERYONE is in the office, even if no one happens to be at the SHARED printer at that exact moment.

* When driving through the desert in the dark, don’t try to make 5 year olds think that you just saw Bigfoot to increase the exciting during a long drive. Wait until they are about 10 or so; they’ll sleep much better then.

* When you share Crème Brule with a coworker and they leave a few bites of the burnt sugary goodness on their plate, even after you warned them not to waste it, don’t grab the plate and finish their uneaten portion. It seems that the story spreads very quickly when everyone gets back to the office. And I gotta tell ya; hearing the phrase ‘give it to Mickey, he’ll eat anything’ over and over again does get really, really old. You might not think so, but it does. Perhaps this is why I never liked Life Cereal.

* Can anyone else hear the name Tabitha and NOT think of ‘Bewitched?’ Do you think that anyone named ‘Tabitha’ gets sick of hearing that? I bet all the guys named Barney Miller feel the same way…

* Suddenly fall down at Disneyland and then count how many ‘cast members’ run to your aid. Now that, my friends, is service the old-fashioned way.

* Does everyone work in an office where doing Huey Lewis’ 2 ‘A Capella’ songs is frowned upon? Maybe it’s because I’m trying to do all 5 parts like Andy on The Office?

* If Tyler Florence can land 1 bazillion Food Network shows because of something called ‘How To Boil Water,’ why can’t I land just one for something called ‘How To Burn What Would Have Been An Otherwise Decent Meal Without Really Trying And Then Ordering Pizza.’

* I am shocked that with the Lego celebrating its 50th birthday yesterday that I never read a headline stating that ‘Legos made it cool (or hip) to be square.’ Sadly, it’s coming up with those type of lines that cause me not to get real work done. But then again, I guess Legos are rectangular so it’s really a moot point. And let’s face it; no point wants to be moot.

* Anticipating that this summer’s movie version of ‘Get Smart’ (starring Steve Carrell as Maxwell Smart and Anne Hathaway as Agent 99) will bring a lot of interest back to the original series, I have started telling people how much I liked the original series so that I won’t look like I’m jumping on the bandwagon when the series gets popular again. I tried the same thing with Barry Manilow, but it seems his album of 70’s covers didn’t make him as popular as I had previously and somewhat erroneously anticipated.


Selma said...

I don't know how people called Marcia get through life, especially if their last name is Brady. It must be an absolute nightmare. I'm still laughing about the Bigfoot sighting. I have to try it next time I take the kids for a drive in the country. Hahaha!

Anonymous said...

That's great. I can't stop laughing. But honestly Huckabee just makes me think of Huckleberry and I just don't see dirty with that.

Hmm..but I def see what you're getting at. Hilarious. :)

chefmom said...

Oh, your poor traumatized 5 year olds...bigfoot in the dark desert. Did you lose sleep becasue of that one? LOL! How could ANYONE leave the carmelized sugar of a creme brulee on their plate?! That's the best part. I think your cooking show would be a hit...learn what not to do. Just let me know what pizza place you'll be ordering from so I can buy stock in it....HaHa ;)

Carrie said...

PSSH.... Huckabee, That isn't even a real name. Who does he think he's fooling?

I, too, relate Tabitha with Bewitched.. I mean, what else would you expect? And I'm 23! It's like naming your red-head child Ariel and putting her in voice lessons.

meleah rebeccah said...

Im hysterical over here...hysterical... This was GREAT. Thank you for the MUCH needed laughter today...

The printer scene is killing me...

Natalie said...

I liked Get Smart too! You will always be my Huey Hero. I can barely name 2 songs let along sing them...with parts.

FRIGGA said...

Yes, I agree, Huckabee is a dirty word. ;-)

RE: the printer - so something I would do!!

The name Tabitha actually makes me think of my old best friend who did NOT remind me of Bewitched.

Happy NOT Monday!!! :-)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Steven King's wife is named Tabitha. Other than that (and Elizabeth Montgomery,) it's a good name for a cat.

You fell at Disneyland? Are you all right? Were you saved by the Little Mermaid, Snow White or Cinderella? You were pratfalling, weren't you?

I hate Life cereal too, and Mikey is a dorky little kid.

Patti said...

Your poor twins, scaring them like that. Be careful or you will give yourself nightmares as well.

P.S. Sorry to read about the head trauma