Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Ugh, With A Bullet

I have been having trouble thinking of blogging topics lately. I’d like to blame it on my new contacts or how beautiful the weather has been in So Cal or that Jeff Gordon won Sunday’s race or even on the fact that I haven’t had enough deep fried foods or melted cheese lately, but I fear those are not the reasons. Well, I fear YOU will not accept them as valid reasons. So, when inspiration fails to bite me in the arse, I result to bullet points. Random, poorly thought out bullet points…

* There is something wrong with living in Southern California when you actually reseed the yard in the Fall...and it grows.

* I live in Southern California, where it never rains. I mean that’s what they sing, so it must be true. How is it then that I have had the last 3 Fridays off and it has rained part of each one of those Fridays? Monday-Thursday? No rain. Saturday and Sunday? No rain. Go figure.

* I have this uh, friend and he made his ring tone Copacabana. How can he get his uh, coworkers to stop laughing at him whenever his cell phone rings? This is of course a hypothetical scenario only.

* Could I get fired for placing a limbo pole or stick (I’m not really sure which would be better) in the main hallway at work so that everyone who has to walk by will be required to limbo in order to get by? Imagine what it would do for moral. Although, some of my coworkers are not the most fit members of society, so imagine what it would do to our workman’s comp claims. Actually, that might be fun to watch too.

* Why does one of my favorite Jimmy Buffett songs, ‘Cheeseburger in Paradise’ make me crave ham? I worry I am missing the point. Although, MC Hammer’s ‘U Can’t Touch This’ makes me crave kosher food, so I think I’m on target there.

* I often fear that if I were a pirate, I’d give the stolen booty back. Yes, the phrase ‘give the booty back’ makes me want to scream ‘That’s What She Said,’ but I’m trying to be good. But you know I am saying it in my head.

* If I were successful in getting bocce ball televised, would people watch? Would the viewership triple if the bocce balls were filled with explosives? I shall call it Boom Ball.

* Does the fact that I want to devote my next bullet point to a soap opera like ‘All My Children’ mean that I have run out of subjects to write about?

* In the hopes of becoming more respected in the office, I have taken to talking like Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock. Sadly, whenever I try it I end up hacking as if I’ve been smoking since 1954.

* Next time I am playing a Jimmy Buffett CD in the office, I need to make sure not to walk away when ‘Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw’ is only a few songs away. It turns out some coworkers are actually offended by that lovely ballad.

* I want to run for charity. I also want to run a marathon AND a triathlon. Sadly, I have a lot of things that need to be watched on my TiVo list. The running will probably have to wait a while.

* If I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up and I am a grown up, would I make a good career counselor? What does the resume for a career counselor look like? Would the more jobs they have held actually be a good thing?

* Is it worse to be a blog lurker – a blurker- or not to visit my favorite blogs at all? Yes, this is a not so cleverly hidden apology.

* Is it ok that the highlight of my day was buying a SNL t-shirt that says ‘More Cowbell!’?

23 comments:

Odat said...

I love your bullet postings....it just shows how very sick you are...or maybe it is the contacts...(i'm just saying)....
Peace

Lis said...

*In a whisper* In the not so distant past, I had this uhm, friend who also had Copacabana as her ring tone. Nobody ever laughed at her because her phone was also set to vibrate. I know because she's uhm, a close friend.

Also, I don't see anything wrong in being a blurker. *Shifty eyes* I uhm, do that and read the posts in my reader when I don't have time to comment on each blog individually.

Patti said...

Apologetic blurkers are OK. ;-)

I don't understand the More Cowbell! reference. Maybe that's because I was an SNL fan in the early years. Very early.
It's tough to be old..

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Patti, more cowbell is from a skit with Will Farrell about the recording of the Blue Oyster Cult's song "Don't Fear the Reaper". It's on the best of Will Farrell SNL dvd, so you can easily catch up with that. It's hilarious!

And Michael, here's another thought to ponder...why do they call it hamburger when it's made of cow and not pig?

Send us the rain, we are desperate.

AndreAnna said...

Let's sign up for a triathalon together - we can motivate each other!!

armalicious said...

I love that t-shirt (the more cowbell one)!!

Copacabana is a good ringtone. Tell your "friend" that people are just laughing out of jealousy.

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, either. I'm 28 on Friday and still can't figure it out. I suppose I have a few more years before I'm really grown up, right?

Open Grove Claudia said...

Um... booty back? Is that a predilection for... never mind. ;)

Alec Baldwin is a scumbag. You want to really imitate that??

Patti said...

Thanks Silver for the info ~ much obliged.

meleah rebeccah said...

Number one: I want that shirt!

Number two: I LOVE limbo office pole. I think Id like the WC claims even more (being that I work in insurance) .

Erica AP said...

Haha... More cowbell... Great SNL skit. I totally used to play the cowbell in the first band I was in while I was at college. I was multi talented... I also played the tambourine.

The Exception said...

I think you need to stop by your favorites and... they will understand (but notice) that you have not commented! But that they will be okay with that because you are enjoying your life - riding around in your little red corvette, eating your hamburgers in paradise, teaching the world to sing, and ensuring that the milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hands!

Get the door... it's....!

And yes, the powers that be have decided I can write this form work - but I fear it is a passing freedom!

Natalie said...

I am a career counselor. When I started, my main duties were actually job placement but I did plenty of counseling. The only experience I had was in finding a job for myself and not knowing what I want to be when I grow up. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

On another note, do you love fried cheese curds? Cause I do.

katherine. said...

you could participate in the Olympic Torch run....friends of mine did that in 1984 when the Olymics were in LA...it was really great

Lemon Stand said...

A Blurker, huh? Yeah, I think I resemble that word. But not because I want to, just because there are not enough hours in the day...

kat said...

That's so great you bought that shirt. I was watching (for the millionth time) the E! Greatest Moments In SNL History and that ranks #1. Wear your shirt proudly.

brandy said...

One of my best buds has a 'more cowbell' shirt, we officially became bff after I saw it.

Airam said...

I would so love to work with you. A limbo stick? Damn.

Michael C said...

Odat: Nah, you were right, I'm sicko.

Lis: I thought you might agree ;-)

Patti: I shall try to find it on youtube for ya.

Silver: You are very right about the ham in hamburger. And why are hotdogs never hot? Hmmmmm

AA: That is a deal. You'll see why tomorrow ;-)

Armalicious: It seems we are quite philosophically aligned on these important issues.

Claudia: Well, I certainly don't belittle my kids, like the Alec does.

Meleah: I knew you'd like that shirt. HEY EVERYBODY - IT'S MELEAH'S BIRTHDAY WEEK!!!!!!

Erica AP: Cowbell and Tamborine! I am jealous. Really, I am not making this up.

The Exception: Thanks for your support. I will now visit all the sites I have neglected. Glad you can uh, 'visit' from work again ;-)

Natalie: I'm not in trouble for questioning career counselors, am I? Fried cheese curds? Crap, I have never had them and now won't be able to concentrate on anything else until I do!!!

Katherine: That would be fun. I went to see the torch in Newport Beach in 1984. I remember it vividly.

Lemon Stand: Amen!!!!

Kat: Can you believe I have never seen that. Holler next time it's on...please?

Bran: If I take a pic of my shirt, can I join your ranks??

Airam: You are welcome anytime. I mean we all DO act like 1st graders there. Well, ok, I do...

Tink said...

Thanks for making my day, LOL. Reminds me of some of the stunts Pan use to pull at work, like rubberbanding the bathroom door after someone when in so that it would slam shut on them when they tried to get out. Or placing well aimed paper pellets to his subordinates in their cubicles which would result in cubicle wars because no one thought he would do it. I think he misses those days.

Natalie said...

No trouble, i just think it s really funny that i help people find what they want to do and have no idea myself. You need to get to a state or county fair in the upper midwest. They have the best fried cheese curds ever. You haven't lived until you have bitten into that melty freshly battered cheddar curd goodness.

FRIGGA said...

If I had cable I'd watch boom ball... probably.

Tammie Jean said...

"I shall call it Boom Ball."

Oh, how that made me laugh...

meleah rebeccah said...

awww... thanks for the "shout out" to my birthday.