Saturday, October 06, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 10/6/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier.

! I learned that dinner at the buffet of an Indian Casino that prides itself on having 7 different cultural 'food stations' is not the place to go when on a diet. Perhaps it just isn't the place for a foodie to go - ever.

! I learned that a windy day is not the best day to try and mow the lawn when wearing the contacts I have only had for 3 days. The words panic and sandpaper are appropriate here.

! I learned that when I am wearing a 2 week heart monitor that prohibits me from wearing a tie and tucking in my shirt, I should lay low about it instead of walking through the office saying I don't have to dress up in an eerie sing -song way. This only attracts the boss' attention.

! I learned that when going to a real pumpkin patch with real dirt shortly after a rainstorm that sandals are probably not the best choice in foot wear.

! I learned that having my cellphone ringtone set to a medley of "That's What She Said's" from The Office that it only takes about 3 phone calls before Lucy and Ethel run around saying 'That's What She Said' everywhere they go. I will choose to worry when they begin using it correctly.

! I learned that a week without a Monte Cristo sandwich must be what it feels like to be in prison or not have satellite TV complete with TiVo. Ok, I realize that sounds a bit dramatic, but that is only because you have not tried one.

And lastly,

! I learned that whenever the twins decide to get into bed with us to wake us up in the morning that somehow they always end up putting all their weight on my 'manitalia.' And it hurts. It really, really hurts.

16 comments:

Odat said...

LOL at the twins "that's what she said"...hahahaha...that's funny..

How are you doing with the contacts btw?

Peace

Patti said...

You have pumpkin patches in the desert? I learn something new every day.

I recommend using lots of drops when wearing contacts. It helps. ;-)

Airam said...

I always find that I want to start dieting at the worst possible moment. Like Thanksgiving. And Christmas.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

Life isn't life with out a Monte Cristo....be careful of the twins...and I don't mean your kids....

Tink said...

ROFL.... Advertising your perk isn't always a good way to get attention. I wonder if that is why the Count really tried breaking out of prison? And at least I only had to worry about broken noses when little ones jumped in bed. Yep, I actually had to go to the emergency room because I thought Scamp had broken my nose.

AndreAnna said...

You talked about your man bits and a fried sandwich in one post. You are my hero.

On The Edge said...

Boy oh boy, I can relate to the food buffet at the Indian casinos. I avoid them like the plague...great food (no I'm not a foodie), but in way too much quantity.

Open Grove Claudia said...

Wow! Thanks man. I was just about to give up Monte Cristo sandwiches and join the Indian Casino diet plan. That's of course after I trotted to the pumpkin patch in my stiletto boots - you did say stiletto boots, didn't you??

Heart monitor? Michael what's going on?

Candace said...

I want to eat with you.

The manitalia thing happens with me, too, though not with manitalia. Mostly with boobs. Ow!

I have glasses because I was tired of getting trees stuckin my eyes. (among other reasons) How are you doing with them now?

armalicious said...

"I will choose to worry when they begin using it correctly."
That's what she said...

brandy said...

Ahh, you know I have thoughts on that twss phrase being used by the masses... so I will let that one go for now. But it reminds me, remember the project we were going to do? I think it's still important that it gets done. Very important. And yes, I love talking vaguely. I do it well.

As for Monte Cristo sandwiches, I have to say, I've never had one. But, i did use it in scattagories last night, when the letter was 'm' and the topic was 'type of sandwich'. And yes, that was very important to share. Almost vital really.

kat said...

There is a That's What She Said ringtone??????????????????

Candace said...

This is a little song for Michael
He likes to run or ride his bike(eal)
His lack of blogging makes me feel like I'll
Never move forward in my life cycle

Nothing like a sucky song to get you moving! ;-)

meleah rebeccah said...

'manitalia' is the best word. I cant!

You learn the best lessons!!

katherine. said...

my co-workers begged me to change my ringtone. So I started having different songs for different callers...THAT was fun.

FRIGGA said...

Ok, real shoes for the pumpkin patch and do not use TWSS for my cell phone ringer, check check..

Thank you :-)