When The Coffee’s Cold And The Donuts Are Hard

I’m really not sure that title is related to what I am going to write, but I thought it was catchy and usually describes the state of things in my office around 10AM each day. It used to be about 11AM, but now that I have to get Lucy and Ethel to school by 7:45 each morning, I get into the office earlier, which actually means on time. However, I still have to leave at the same time I used to. This means that I am somehow working an extra hour more than I did before. I’m hoping this describes the mind-numbing fatigue I feel each day around 4PM. I know I’ve said this before but people who work 8 hours (in a row, on the same day and in an office setting, mind you) amaze me. Forget all the Olympians we’ve been giving medals to since Friday, these office troopers are the real heroes. Talk about an Olympian effort.

I took up a little project when I had the day off one day. Do you know all the things you can accomplish in 8 hours? You can drive from my home to Las Vegas and back about 2 ½ times! You can sleep in, then have breakfast, then take another nap and get up in time for lunch, and still have time for a nap and heavy personal computer use before dinner. And do I even need to mention all the errands you can do like going to Target to peruse the toy isle and then Wal-Mart to see their grilling section and go out of your way to drive by the office and wave at everyone who doesn’t have the day off. Obviously I am only scratching the surface here, but you can get a lot done in 8 hours. That’s practically enough time to watch 8 one-hour TV shows or 16 30-minute TV shows and possibly more if you TiVo’d them and are speeding through the commercials. If you just confined your time to blogging, you could practically visit every blog that starts with a-f. If you devoted that much time to Facebook, you could get your number of friends up to 500. Now granted you are not getting paid while spending 8 hours doing the things I just mentioned, but I think I’ve made my point that you can get a lot done in that amount of time.

And speaking of work (and the longest segue ever), I read about another worker who is trying to make is job a little better. I know I tend to complain about my job and often postulate about all the ways that it could be improved, but here is someone who has actually brought his attempts to the national media spotlight. And by national media spotlight, I mean that part where all the odd news items end up, so I guess it’s more of the National Media Flashlight Through A Keyhole’s worth of attention, which is still more than I’ve been able to get. I realize I may sound jealous, but that’s because I am.

A male postal worker in Washington state is trying to get approval for letter carriers to wear kilts on the job. While he hasn’t been successful yet, he has gotten attention for what he is trying to do. He said that kilts are more comfortable and less confining than pants or shorts. I just had to nod quietly to him about this because I have never worn a kilt and am not sure I would want to. Maybe a skort, but not a kilt. Actually, I am surprised that more employers aren’t requiring kilts as mandatory office attire. After all, very few men are going to kick back and put their legs up on their desks while wearing kilts. Although, doing so would be a good way to make sure no one comes into your office to bother you while your legs are up on your desk and all of your ‘office supplies’ are on display for all the world to see.

When it comes to confining, my main target is dress shoes. While I managed to graduate to slip on dress shoes with no laces, the sock and shoe thing still bugs. I think sandals should be allowed in the office. I spend the 5 ½ 8 hours I am at work with my feet under my desk anyway, so who is really going to notice? Heck, you could almost make the same argument for shorts. Now yes, it’s true that I would look like an idiot arriving to and leaving from the office (not to mention going to lunch) everyday with a tie and dress shirt tucked into my shorts, but that is a personal humiliation I am more than willing to endure for the freedom of wearing shorts to work.

A happy worker is a productive worker, or maybe just a worker who gets the same amount done, but happens to do it with a smile, or without mumbling. Perhaps the time is way overdue to accept the fact that as long as the job gets done, apparel shouldn’t be such a big concern. I would even take a pledge and promise to my employer that if they let me wear shorts and sandals I will continue to do my job just as I have been for the last 4+ years.

Ok, I’ll admit - maybe that’s not the best pledge for me to be making in the hopes of getting permission to wear shorts and sandals…