Thursday, August 07, 2008

Random Thoughts Friday

Well we made it through another week. We are now firmly ensconced in August, though I’m not sure I used ensconced correctly (but something about the word makes me crave a scone, even though I have never had one). That’s the problem with big words. Using them is like playing with fire, or more specifically, playing with a bottle of lighter fluid after you have already lit the charcoal. It might be flashy, but it’s not a ‘bright’ idea, if you catch my drift. Use the big word correctly and you look like a Mensa King. Use it incorrectly and you get burned. And if you think that’s a random thought, you’re wrong, it’s a segue. And speaking of segues, check these out…

* At the Angels game the other night, we sat in their semi-exclusive right field restaurant called The Knothole Club. While I consented to eat there despite the fact that the word ‘knothole’ makes me squirmy, I drew the line at ordering a ‘knothole dog.’

* I actually used the word ‘exactamundo’ the other day. I now go about my life daily knowing I was reduced to quoting the Fonz. It is very humbling to know that one could fall socially and culturally so far.

* Does it make me a slow learner when the vending machine eats my 75 cents, most likely meaning that it is out of Diet Dr. Pepper, and I put in 75 cents 2 more times in an attempt to get one? I’m not good at math, but I think I’m out like $8 now and still don’t have a Diet Dr. Pepper.

* When calling a friend at their work and you use an alias as a joke, it’s important to spell the name correctly when leaving a message with whoever answers the phone. You know, for credibility and stuff.

* When Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School mentioned getting a job application for the seedy bar next to our office, I told her she was better than that and she should just wait until I open my restaurant. Unfortunately she asked when that would be and I had to tell her that I need to fall and then sue somebody first. It’s gonna be a while.

* I question our advancements in medicine and medical treatment when I am seeing a doctor about a possible kidney infection and have to carry my urine sample from the 3rd floor, down the elevator and through the entire length of the clinic’s downstairs lobby to deliver it to the lab. Not only did people stare, but I received the dainty two finger hold as the nurse at the lab took the bag containing my sample from me. I just don’t think we see enough people carrying their own urine in public to have become desensitized to it yet. And now I can add that sentence to the growing list of things I never thought I’d get to write on my blog.

* Is a ‘Wet Paint’ sign as seductive to anyone else as it is to me? What makes one have to touch the surface of something that has a ‘Wet Paint’ sign on it? And the part that really sucks is that you are leaving your fingerprint there for all of eternity should someone want to discover who actually touched the wet paint. It’s a sticky situation.


* I learned that when our office is playing the 'name a title' song game and we are on songs that have ‘day’ in the title, anything from the catalogue of Doris Day is off limits. However, ‘Monday, Monday’ and ‘Rainy Days and Mondays’ are worth multiple points and Kenny Rogers’ ‘Daytime Friends and Nighttime Lovers’ works for both songs with ‘day’ and songs with ‘night.’ Now if it was only that easy to complete our assigned office tasks. Also, are you aware of how many Beatles songs have 'day' in the title? Their song list is like a veritable diarrhea of the word 'day.' You know, there was probably a much better way to convey that thought.

* If you ever really, really want to please your coworkers, get in before everyone else and then greet them all by telling them that you made the coffee and it should be ready. If you really, really want to upset your coworkers, do all of the above, except forget to press the start button after getting the coffee machine ready. Talk about awkward...

Have a great weekend and remember to send me your burning, or maybe even itching, rash-like questions for Q & A Monday.

18 comments:

Toni Lea Andrews said...

The only thing more alluring to the touch than "Wet Paint" is when a waiter tells me, "Be careful, this plate is very hot."

meleah rebeccah said...

"* When calling a friend at their work and you use an alias as a joke, it’s important to spell the name correctly when leaving a message with whoever answers the phone. You know, for credibility and stuff."


hahahahahaha Yes I do that all the time and I tell my friends to do the same when calling my office! (back when I had a phone on my desk)

"If you ever really, really want to please your coworkers, get in before everyone else and then greet them all by telling them that you made the coffee and it should be ready. If you really, really want to upset your coworkers, do all of the above, except forget to press the start button after getting the coffee machine ready. Talk about awkward..."

THAT WAS YOUR LIZ LEMON MOMENT!

xxoo

Cheryl Lage said...

Feel free to continue using "ensconsed" (and for God's sake, have a scone), and I'd put the kibosh on "exactamundo." But that's just me.... ;)

LilSass said...

Michael, will you marry me? That is my question for you to answer on Monday. Obviously from my last post, you see that I have "a good shape" and I like meat. So, that should help seal the deal for you.

*besitos*

Hannah said...

Oh Michael C, you make me laugh. :)

Michael C said...

Toni: I always try to at least wait until the waiter leave, but I'm a big plate toucher too!

Meleah: It's only taken me a year, but I finally comiitted a Liz Lemon!!

Cheryl: I think you are right on all fronts there! And I will most definitely kibosh the Fonz-speak.

Lilsass: Uhhhhhhhh. I think that's a first here. And now I have to go translate besitos ;-)

Hannah: Probably not as much as 'Lenny' does!! hehe

Eva said...

Finally, I thought of a Beatles song with the word "day" in it: Daytripper! I would have lost that game in a big way.

Also, what is up with making coffee in the office??? What happened to the Enormous Espresso 3000 or whatever it's called??? (I guess that can qualify as a Question for your Q&A Monday if you're desperate.)

Michael C said...

Eva: That was one of my first offerings, though I did think of 'That'll be The Day' by Buddy Holly after leaving the office. The song was inspired after seeing John Wayne's movie 'The Searchers,' where he says it all the time.

I really didn't need to share that part about the Duke movie, did I??

Patti said...

"Hard Day's Night," "YesterDAY,""Eight Days a Week,"...ummmm that's it for now.


I've been to doctor's offices where they actually let you leave the urine sample on the toilet tank..so you don't have to carry it all over the place.

I have a burning question to pose:

Since you live in or near the desert, is your yard full of cactuses? Or cacti?

Employee No. 3699 said...

Okay, The Beatles or The Monkies; what is your favorite vegetable; and live in a tent for one year or work seven days a week for one year?

Have a "Good Day Sunshine!"

Also, I've never read the post about Ms. I Want to go to Mime School, where can I find it?

amymax said...

I can't believe best bud's wife didn't comment about the wooden toilet seat we had when we were little. It was called the knothole. yeah....really....so imagine little kids saying....'i have to go tinkle in the knothole!'

Mel Heth said...

I'm a Dr. Pepper drinker too. I should send you a 12-pack of diet to just keep in your desk.

Michael C said...

Patti: Yeah, you get spared the dreaded walking on the specimen!

Employee No. 3699: I shall answer them on Monday and you have a good day too, sunshine! At least there aren't 8 days in this week!

Amymax: That is a hysterical statement. It might just be better than 'I have to go x-ray my chicken!'

Mel: Don't tempt me. I have no problem taking you up on that offer ;-)

Candace said...

Ha! Just yesterday I was talking to a kid who said his brother wants to grow poison ivy up a wall of their house and put a "do not touch" sign on it. I wonder how many people would just have to touch it. ^_^

How about Sting's whole Brand New Day album? Or at least the song. :)

silverneurotic said...

Hey, The Foonz is cool. I have to start watching more "Happy Days" and dropping quotes from that show.

Janna said...

Instead of a candlelight vigil, we should all just show up carrying vials of our own urine, dressed as our favorite cheese.

longredcape said...

I love the episode of Friends when Phoebe is giving birth, and her doctor has an unhealthy obsession with the Fonz . . . when he leaves the room she says she wants another doctor because she doesn't want him saying she's "dilatedamundo."

SLCC Girlfriends said...

Personally I love me some Fonz! He is so cool and I still maybe a little have a crush on him. If only you could have channeled his powers to hit the coffee machine (like the jukebox) and turn it on!