Random Thoughts Friday

Well we made it through another week. We are now firmly ensconced in August, though I’m not sure I used ensconced correctly (but something about the word makes me crave a scone, even though I have never had one). That’s the problem with big words. Using them is like playing with fire, or more specifically, playing with a bottle of lighter fluid after you have already lit the charcoal. It might be flashy, but it’s not a ‘bright’ idea, if you catch my drift. Use the big word correctly and you look like a Mensa King. Use it incorrectly and you get burned. And if you think that’s a random thought, you’re wrong, it’s a segue. And speaking of segues, check these out…

* At the Angels game the other night, we sat in their semi-exclusive right field restaurant called The Knothole Club. While I consented to eat there despite the fact that the word ‘knothole’ makes me squirmy, I drew the line at ordering a ‘knothole dog.’

* I actually used the word ‘exactamundo’ the other day. I now go about my life daily knowing I was reduced to quoting the Fonz. It is very humbling to know that one could fall socially and culturally so far.

* Does it make me a slow learner when the vending machine eats my 75 cents, most likely meaning that it is out of Diet Dr. Pepper, and I put in 75 cents 2 more times in an attempt to get one? I’m not good at math, but I think I’m out like $8 now and still don’t have a Diet Dr. Pepper.

* When calling a friend at their work and you use an alias as a joke, it’s important to spell the name correctly when leaving a message with whoever answers the phone. You know, for credibility and stuff.

* When Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School mentioned getting a job application for the seedy bar next to our office, I told her she was better than that and she should just wait until I open my restaurant. Unfortunately she asked when that would be and I had to tell her that I need to fall and then sue somebody first. It’s gonna be a while.

* I question our advancements in medicine and medical treatment when I am seeing a doctor about a possible kidney infection and have to carry my urine sample from the 3rd floor, down the elevator and through the entire length of the clinic’s downstairs lobby to deliver it to the lab. Not only did people stare, but I received the dainty two finger hold as the nurse at the lab took the bag containing my sample from me. I just don’t think we see enough people carrying their own urine in public to have become desensitized to it yet. And now I can add that sentence to the growing list of things I never thought I’d get to write on my blog.

* Is a ‘Wet Paint’ sign as seductive to anyone else as it is to me? What makes one have to touch the surface of something that has a ‘Wet Paint’ sign on it? And the part that really sucks is that you are leaving your fingerprint there for all of eternity should someone want to discover who actually touched the wet paint. It’s a sticky situation.

* I learned that when our office is playing the 'name a title' song game and we are on songs that have ‘day’ in the title, anything from the catalogue of Doris Day is off limits. However, ‘Monday, Monday’ and ‘Rainy Days and Mondays’ are worth multiple points and Kenny Rogers’ ‘Daytime Friends and Nighttime Lovers’ works for both songs with ‘day’ and songs with ‘night.’ Now if it was only that easy to complete our assigned office tasks. Also, are you aware of how many Beatles songs have 'day' in the title? Their song list is like a veritable diarrhea of the word 'day.' You know, there was probably a much better way to convey that thought.

* If you ever really, really want to please your coworkers, get in before everyone else and then greet them all by telling them that you made the coffee and it should be ready. If you really, really want to upset your coworkers, do all of the above, except forget to press the start button after getting the coffee machine ready. Talk about awkward...

Have a great weekend and remember to send me your burning, or maybe even itching, rash-like questions for Q & A Monday.