Keep It Simple Stupid

Ok, I am not calling anyone that happens to read this stupid. It’s just a saying and since this post is about simplification, it was the only ‘simple’ related saying I could think of. Actually, in my house ‘stupid’ is a 4-letter word. Part of this has to do with the fact that Lucy and Ethel haven’t quite mastered spelling yet, but the other part is because they consider it a bad word, just like dumb, butt and celery. Well, it was me who taught them about the celery deal, but they aren’t arguing.

This week is Simplify Your Life Week. I don’t believe there is a colored ribbon to be worn that is associated with this week, but I’m still researching it. When you think about it though, the holiday is not made any simpler when we have to add a ribbon, so I probably won’t find one for it. I’m all into simplifying things because doing so eliminates useless steps and makes things easier. I realize that sounds a lot like being lazy, but I prefer to call it body or mental energy conservation.  The words are bigger.

I’ve always felt that there was no need to take 15 steps to do something that could be done in 5 steps. Unless of course you are walking, because let’s face it, if it takes 15 steps to get home and you only take 5, you just aren’t going to make it home. Simplification frees us up to do other things, it makes us more productive and is much more efficient. The only problem with this is when you introduce simplification into your work day and then find yourself with nothing to do and it’s only 2PM. This is usually the time when your boss senses that you are project stunted or project deficient or maybe even project challenged and gives you more to do. And that simply sucks.

Some people view simplifying their lives differently. For them it means less clutter. I tried this approach once, but literally sat in a spaced out stupor for 20 minutes deciding where to start. Do I dump the Ipod? No, because a Barry Manilow song is playing. Do I dump the portable GPS receiver? No, I’d get lost. Well, I'd get lost a little less than I already do without the receiver.  Do I ditch my cellphone? Actually yes, I’d like to very much. You might think that being able to be in constant communication with everyone you know is an asset, but I view it as a pain in the asset, unless I’m texting my friend to tell him that I am currently at Disneyland as I mentioned in a post a few weeks back. Sometimes it’s just nice to get away from it all and the cellphone makes that practically impossible. I was explaining to someone once how I wanted to throw my cellphone into the nearest ditch and as soon as the sentence left my mouth my phone rang and it was a work call. That’s either called irony or karma, though I call it crappy luck and more proof of why I detest my cellphone, with the notable exception of the That’s What She Said ringtone I created for it featuring the entire cast of The Office. And yes, I’d love to share it with you…

I have to admit that when I saw there was another bogus non-HR sanctioned holiday this week that I thought writing about it would be so simple. Well, I was wrong. It hasn’t been simple. It’s been like popping a pimple located inside of a dimple (and yes, that was probably graphic enough that I should have warned you beforehand, sorry). See, now I’ve been reduced to rhyming like Seuss. Today I didn’t wear a tie, so at least you could say I gave being simple a try. I don’t know why, but now I want to cry. I would not lie. Not to you. I would not lie in a zoo, I would not lie wearing one shoe. I would not lie if you were standing in poo. I would not lie from here to Kalamazoo. Now I’ve jumped the shark, so this post should be all through. So I shall say, goodbye to you.