Friday, May 04, 2007

The Big 3-0-0

In sports, hitting the 300 milestone is a big deal. The great and average hitters in baseball are separated by whether they can hit for a .300 average. The great pitchers in the game become legendary hurlers when they can win 300 games. In bowling, 300 is a perfect game. Coincidentally, 300 is just about the number of strong blows I’ve taken to my head since birth. I have to admit that most of the blows are my fault, with a few exceptions. The blows numbered 21-31, 58-68, 72-82, 101-111, 141-151, 237-237, 254-264 and 277-287 were the result of stairs. In addition, numbers 12, 13, 14, 68, 79, 90, 134 and 243 were courtesy of my brother. At any rate, 300 is also the number of this blog post.

I had a huge 300th post extravaganza planned befitting this momentous occasion. Unfortunately, I ran into a few snags. My original plan included having monkeys type today’s post, but it turns out that my home is not zoned for working monkeys. The more I thought about, I really didn’t want them touching my computer anyway. So, in lieu of having my 300th post extravaganza, I have been reduced to describing it to you.

My extravaganza was going to begin with Kermit the Frog doing his best Alec Baldwin voice mail message impersonation where at the end he would congratulate me on 300 posts. Then we would have opened the curtain on me performing with the 2 surviving Gibbs brothers to do a special version of their Bee Gees hit, ‘How Deep Is Your Love,’ re-titled ‘How Bad Is Your Blog.’ Next would have been the roundtable discussion of some of my past posts with my favorite bloggers and luminaries like Don Rickles and Condoleeza Rice. Of course, you could never have an anniversary extravaganza without a blooper reel so there would have been outtakes from some of my personal favorite posts. Granted there aren’t any, but I could have written some up for the big celebration.

Hour 4 of my extravaganza would have been when things really got going. My coworkers and I were going to reenact some of my past posts like my Monday/Funday Initiative and some of my worst ‘Things I Learned This Weeks.’ The big show was also going to feature the first public viewing of the musical version of ‘Welcome Back Kotter’ that I have been working on starring Squiggy as Horshack. After that, I was going to debut the first song from my Opera treatment of The A-Team. I’m very proud of how my aria ‘I Love It When A Plan Comes Together’ turned out and could hardly wait for everyone to hear it. I still think my casting of Bob Newhart as Hannibal was a stroke of genius.

The finale would have been a real tearjerker and showstopper. It was a big musical number with Lionel Richie and Bing Crosby singing ‘Brick House’ and ‘All Night Long,’ inspired by American Idol’s Celine Dion/Elvis duet (which I still can’t believe they did, but my 300th post is not the place to resume that rant). Yep, it’s too bad I didn’t get the chance to celebrate my 300th blog in such a fashion. My next blogging milestone will be towards the end of next month when I mark one year of blogging. I’ve got one hint for that post…pigs on stilts.

On the serious side, I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read what I write. It means a lot. Over the last 11 months, I feel like I have made several new friends - some who have been stopping by here from early on and some newer visitors. It’s a neat feeling to get to comment and read stuff from people all over the country…and the world. I must like blogging because it has consumed so much of my time since I started. You know I blog a lot when my 4 year olds Lucy and Ethel use the phrase (sarcastically, I might add) ‘oh look, Daddy’s on his computer again.’ I see an intervention in my future.
Well, there you have it, my 300th blog post. Looking back, it reminds be of the other 299 posts. It was just 700 wasted words generally about nothing, and certainly about nothing worthwhile…

22 comments:

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Hey, Michael! Congrats! 300 posts and it hasn't even been a year? Wow that is prolific. Your blog is a cheerful oasis. Enjoy your sense of humor.

SGT DUB said...

Happy 300! I do enjoy reading your insightful view of life, it is great. Blogging has been easier since I have no social life in Afghanistan after the office, but how will I cope with it when I get home, and there I still have dial up, oh Lord, help me.

Patti said...

Wash your mouth out with soap! Humor is always worthwhile. Without it life would be awfully darn boring.
Congratulations from one of your newer visitors.
I like how you wove Lionel into the post. Seamless.

Now go read that "Onion" article.

FRIGGA said...

Happy 300!

Tammie Jean said...

Congratulations on your 300th post! Sounds like a kick-a$$ variety-show celebration! Can I come?

Awesome Mom said...

Congrats!!!

captain corky said...

"I’m very proud of how my aria ‘I Love It When A Plan Comes Together’ turned out and could hardly wait for everyone to hear it".

Pure genius my friend! Lines like that are why I come back 5 times a day. Congrats!

Natalie said...

300 is amazing. Congratulations.

Cece said...

You sure do talk a lot dontcha?? lol Happy 300th post!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

congratulations michael! and many more!!!

smiles, bee

Michael C said...

Lone Grey: Thank you very much!

Sgt. Dub: Thanks? Dial-up? Don't worry, we'll all take up a collection!

Patti: I had to work in the Richie. I promise I will read that article.

Frigga: Thanks!

Tammie Jean: Thanks. You are definitely invited.

Awesome Mom: Thank you much!

Captain: I specifically thought you might enjoy that.

Natalie: Thank you so much!

Cece: Yeah, I don't shut up much ;-)

Empress Bee: Thank you. I'll keep this stuff up as long as I can.

ian said...

You had me at "monkeys."

Ian

PS: Congrats on the 300th post. Yours was a lot more fun than mine. :)

Odat said...

Me too..at the monkeys...hehe...

But hey, what a milestone!! and to think you've been here almost a year......time flies when you're having fun and it's all "worthwhile". Thanks for making me laugh X 300!

Peace

Michael C said...

Ian: Thanks. It's great seeing you around here again ;-)

Odat: Thanks for being there! I truly appreciate it!

My Reflecting Pool said...

Wowzers, 300! Congratulations. loved the idea of using monkeys. :0)

Parlancheq said...

Kermit! The Bee Gees! You really know how to celebrate in style. Happy 300th post.

Meloncutter said...

Well, since I have been stopping by since nearly the beginning, I will say this.

Dang!!!

Hang in there sunshine. Yer friggin special.

Congratulations.

Later Y'all

Patti said...

Now it's Saturday. Are we going to read about the things you learned this week? I hope. I hope...

;-)

Michael C said...

My Reflecting Pool: Thanks. I thought the monkeys would be popular.

Parlancheq: Yeah, the extravaganza would have been fun.

Meloncutter: If memory servies me correctly, you and Odat were the very first visitors. Thanks!!

Patti: I hope so too ;-)

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Happy 300!

CS said...

I pity the fool who doesn't like your opera vesion of the A-Team.

Congratulations!

kat said...

That party sounds like it would've been a riot. I look forward to the one year party with pigs on stilts. That rules.