Tuesday, June 03, 2008

What A Loss

No, I’m not talking about politics or Hillary. That just makes people angry. Before I go any further, I need to warn you that what you are about to read is very sad, it’s beyond sad, it’s ‘Shitacular’ actually. It’s that rare mix of horrible and awe-inspiring rolled up into a big ball of cookie dough that you can’t help but taste even though you know the raw eggs are going to make you sicker than a visit to the nursery at the local preschool. That’s my definition of ‘shitacular,’ by the way. It just popped out of my mouth during a meeting at work and it seemed to be well received. But anyway, this post is going to sadden and possibly depress you, so if you need to read it at a later time like when you are so happy that nothing could bring you crashing back down to earth or after you go grab a box of facial cleaning wipes, or just tissue, please feel free.

What I am about to tell you (more like break softly to you) was covered by some media outlets over the weekend, so you may already know about it. In fact, one of my favorite bloggers even sent me a link to one of the stories. On Friday the James Hook & Co. seafood business in Boston caught fire and burned to the ground, which was actually water because it’s a waterfront business. So, it burned to the water, which is odd considering that water actually beats fire in the old ‘rocks, paper, water, fire game.’ And speaking of fire, there was also one at Universal Studios over the weekend, but you can rest easily because Wysteria Lane was not damaged. Neither were The Beav’s house or The Munster’s place. Yep, they are all on the same street. Goodness, what would June Cleaver think of the goings on in her digs nowadays…

But Wysteria Lane pales in comparison to the fire in Boston. It is always sad when a longtime business has to close its doors for a while, but something else went up in smoke with the James Hook & Co. building. Ok, actually it steamed and then went up in smoke. 60,000 pounds of lobster perished in the fire. If you love lobster like me (I actually read a book 2 summers ago called the ‘Secret Life of Lobsters’ and highly recommend it), go ahead and cry a good hard cry. I’m getting all Saddy Sadderson and my eyes are welling up again as I try to type this. If they were all one pound lobsters, that’s 600 lobsters that were lost. Wait, I don’t think I did my math right again. I really do need to stop using numbers in my posts. It’s not that I feel bad for the lobsters, let’s face it, they were pretty much heading for the scalding hot ending anyway. And this is where I have to say that there had to have been a few minutes while the building’s fire was the best smelling fire in the history of fires. Although I bet the hissing and whining sound of 60,000 pounds of lobster steaming was deafening! Or, that may have just been my cross-continental crying…

I feel bad for the company losing out on the sales of 60,000 pounds of lobster and even more, I feel bad for the people that won’t get to taste the delicious meat that comes from the clawed creature that is related to the bugs we try to eschew (or not chew – guzundheit). I’ve seen that lobstering show on the Discovery Channel and I can tell you that’s it’s no small claw feat to catch 60,000 pounds of lobster. If we lost 60,000 barrels of oil, we’d probably end up paying $13.75 per gallon, so let’s hope that the loss of lobster (also referred to in the business as LOL, even though there is nothing laughable about that. OK, I made that up. I couldn’t resist. It made me LOL. Go figure) doesn’t increase the price of the culinary crustacean to a point where we can’t afford to have it on our tables every night, you know because they are so affordable already. Although, the angels employees at Trader Joes offer up a lobster ravioli at the very reasonable price (this is where I am using my wannabe commercial guy voice) of $2.99 a bag.

It’s all just so sad. What a waste of such a precious commodity. I wonder if this is how ants feel when Lucy and Ethel spill part of their daily afternoon popsicle on the patio and then we spray it off with the hose. Because let me tell you, if that is how ants feel, I am making a pledge right here and now to never spray food bits off the patio again. Well, until I see too many ants on the patio. But don’t fault me, that’s just human nature.

There is a remedy to all the sadness and loss and carnage though. If you remember, and I am hoping that you do, Wednesday is Cheese Day. And let me tell you, nothing dries up tears better than a nice thick slice of cheese. Of course I mean that in the most metaphorical of senses. Kleenex works best for the real thing. It’s pretty absorbent. And they make some that have nice patterns on it. Those are pretty AND absorbent, but then you feel guilty snotting over such a nice design. Hmmm, maybe I’ll blog about Kleenex tomorrow.

14 comments:

Michele said...

A very sad moment indeed. If I lived in Boston, I would have rushed over with my melted butter and helped eat the meat (twss!). I'm surprised other people didn't do the same. For shame..

cmk said...

Nope, sorry. That just DIDN'T make me sad--I don't do shellfish/seafood of any kind.

Around here, I think the fires that have made the most people saddest are the ones the local law enforcement officials start--the ones where they burn marijuana crops that have been found growing in our remotest areas. I've often wondered how the people downwind of THOSE fires have felt afterwards! ;)

james b. said...

You know, I was just laying awake thinking "But who will cry for the lobsters?," and something told me to visit your blog!

I'm teasing. I haven't visited enough recently, and I was due. That really is a huge loss. The thought of claws and butter sauce is making me drool right now...figuratively speaking.

James B. said...

BTW, forgot to mention my blog has moved. New address: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/burnettiquette.

I wanted to stay on Blogger, but the powers that be leaned on me to be a "team player" and join the rest of my colleagues at work who blogged by switching to the company's TypePad account. So I caved.

Eva said...

That must have been the most awesome smelling fire in the history of fires... And I would have been right behind Michele in line with my bucket of melted butter. It's a bucket because with that much lobster, you need a LOT of butter. And a bib. And some of those scissors that cut the tail open. And some oven mitts so that you don't burn your fingers when reaching in to grab the next one. And an extra bucket to bring home some lobster to your family so that they don't go, "What, you didn't think I would want any? YOU DIDN'T THINK TO BRING HOME SOME FOR ME?!?!?!" I wouldn't want to upset my family, after all. So the extra bucket is key. It can nest nicely outside the butter bucket for easier carrying.

citizen of the world said...

Actually, that is sad on a number of levels.

Lobster is my all-tme favorite seafood. It would probably be my last meal request on death row. Except I'd be too sick and scared to be able to eat anything.

Odat said...

I was wondering why I had a sudden urge for lobster yesterday.....
Peace

Kimmer said...

I can't even tell you how sad this was, and this came on the heels of another HUGE apartment complex fire the day before. Anyway, poor lobsters. They would've been much happier in my belly!

Patti said...

this was a truly sad story you related, Saddy.

I didn't hear this one. I also love Lobsta, and almost neva have it.
Hopefully this summer I will have a meal that includes the crusty crustacean and lots of melted butter.

Have a wonderful Cheese Day today.

meleah rebeccah said...

I am throughly depressed after reading that.

Although, now I will be looking for ways to use "shitacular" on a daily basis.

Mel Heth said...

At least it wasn't the Tillamook Factory!

Feel better soon, Grievy Grieverington.

Amy said...

So sad! We went to Trader Joe's this weekend and we looked and looked for the Lobster Ravioli and couldn't find it...we were quite bummed!!! Enjoy a ravioli for me!

Carrie said...

The restaurant I worked (work) at burned to the (actual) ground not too long ago; it was very sad. Mostly because the grease fire started the night before when we were in full service. Humm.

Poor business owners and the money they put into the pockets of rightfully so hard working fishermen.

I don't like lobster, but man. 60,000....

FRIGGA said...

No, I hadn't heard! And wow, that is very sad!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take comfort in knowing there are other Lobsters out there. Right now may be a little soon, but eventually, when you're ready, there are lots of lobsters looking for a happy mouth.