Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason, always makes me look pathetic. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 3/12/07-3/17/07.
! I learned that there is no sense having a garage sale to get rid of our old junk when all we do is go down to our neighbor’s garage sale and buy their old junk.
! I learned that when a coworker asks about the address for my blog because she has heard so many good things about it that it can be taken the wrong way when I tell her I can’t gave her the web address because I have said many, many bad things about her. Although I was only joking, the rest of the office seemed to side with her.
! I learned that when we are half way into a family walk and Ethel alerts us that she has to use the facilities, she really does have to use the facilities. Unfortunately, Lucy then convinces herself that she does too.
! I learned that telling Lucy and Ethel that I might pay them for doing chores when they get older has left them with the impression that they can ask for a penny after everything they do. It could be worse, at least they don’t know what a quarter is.
! I learned that Hawaiian shirt day at work apparently did not entitle me to wearing a floral shirt with a somewhat disrobed island girl on it. I swear it was tasteful.
! I learned that when someone asks why I’m not wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day, I should not respond, “I didn’t need to. I’ve got this really bad infection that turned green on my elbow. Here, want to see?”