Saturday, March 31, 2007

Science Can Be Tasty Too!

I just finished reading a story by the GPF news service that I found amazing (and a little tasty). Apparently, a nutritional biologist with a small private University in Skanskoon, Illinois has perfected a new hybrid fruit. Here’s the kicker, the hybrid creation was inspired by a drunken induced night during which the biologist was listening to Jimmy Buffet.

When the scientist awoke the next morning, he found a sketchpad containing his plans for the creation of the new fruit. The story says that he sobered up and began work on the new Mangwi – a mix of the Mango and the Kiwi. He worked on the project in his spare time and with the help of a group of his best students who earned extra credit for their assistance. You know, the stereotypical image of scientists is not that complimentary, but you have to love a biologist who gets inspiration for his work from a combination of alcohol and beach music. I bet his lab coat has an aloha pattern on it, he was educated in the 60s in San Francisco (seriously I mean NO offense to anyone else that this statement applies to) and says ‘dude’ a lot.

According to those who have tasted it, the Mangwi is juicier than an orange with a soft light brown fruit inside. Its taste has an almost floral quality to it and it can easily be recognized by its tan and pink skin and baseball size. One food critic called it the most explosive mix of elements since the creation of the atom bomb in the 1940s. After initially being sold in local Illinois farmer’s markets, the Mangwi was then sold in larger mid-west grocery chains to rave reviews, despite its pricey $1.38 per Mangwi price tag. It has been so popular in fact, that Dole recently announced they are working with the biologist and his team on a Mangwi juice for release later this year. Consumers can expect Mangwi to hit their local store shelves, regardless of where they live, by early fall.

My palette drools at the possibilities and combinations that this biologist may perfect next. I’m almost tempted to write his University with a few requests for his students’ graduate work. First up would be a blend of the coconut and an edible version of the cocoa bean. In my mind, it would create a low-fat natural version of a Mounds Bar. I don’t know that a biologist would really be the right person to do this one, but how about a new Dorito with Nacho flavor on one side and Cool Ranch on the other. Then there are the strictly seasonal hybrids like pumpkins that grow infused with cinnamon spice. Hey, how about a cranberry-apple hybrid. Those flavors are mixed all the time in fruit juices so why not make the process easier and turn it into one single fruit? We could call it the Crapple. Oh wait, never mind. That doesn’t sound too appealing, does it?

There are a lot of freaky things going on in science these days, like cloning and self-cleaning ovens. It would be so easy for the wrong person to harness the power of science for evil or selfish purposes, like cloning Salma Hayek or breeding an angry and aggressive six-foot version of the Meerkat that is able to speak German but sing like Clay Aiken. In these times, it’s good to know that science is also being put to good use with the creation of the Mangwi. Is there a Nobel Prize in science for the development of a tasty tropical hybrid? There sure as heck should be!
Yes, this was my lame attempt at an April Fools Day Post. Sadly, there is not at this time anything called the Mangwi. There is also not a Skanskoon, Illinois. Although if there is, please email me because I’d really like to visit sometime.


Odat said...

well there may not be a magwi or a Skanskoon...and this may be your attempt at an April Fools day joke....but....
it's only March 31st!! that the joke???? lmao

Lizza said...

Well, it's April 1st where I am. You had me salivating for a moment there. But I agree, Crapple doesn't make for a good marketing gimmick. :-)

Violet said...

What a pity, it sounds so tasty.

Erica AP said...

You got me all excited about this fruit and I would have told people about... But thanks for not letting me gullibility get the best of me by coming clean.

mist1 said...

I'm glad I read the end of this post because I was about to go to the farmer's market tomorrow demanding the magwi.

CSL said...

Too bad, because I was all set to move to Skanskoon. My vote for a hybrid goes to grape and orange, whic I mix togther as juice all the time. Around this house we call it "groarange."

SGT DUB said...

You see, when someone always tells a small truth with a coat of fantasy, we always look for that truth, you got me too.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

It was totally believable which makes it a great AF joke.

thethinker said...

No Mangwi? And I was actually starting to get excited about it.

Robin said...

damn, you had me going ...i was ready to make a pie.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

michael could you please add an almond to the coconut and chocolate, i like almond joys... good joke!

smiles, bee

Jay said...

Jeepers. You got me all excited.
Not that I like mangoes, or kiwis.
But who knows ... I may have LOVED the combination, and now I'll never know but always wonder!!!

Terri said...

crapple - I love it! I laughed out loud (at work too).

Natalie said...

I am so glad you said this was a joke. I was all set to start googling it right away. What a delicious fruit it sounded like. You are a mean mean teasing man.