Sunday, March 11, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 3/11/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday (except for today, which I am choosing to chalk up to the early Daylight Savings Time this year). It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason, always makes me look pathetic. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 3/4/07-3/11/07.

! I learned that when one of the older fish in our tank appears to have difficulty swimming that I need to keep a close eye on it for the next several days so that I find it floating upside down before Lucy and Ethel do and start asking questions.

! I learned that I should make sure I charged Lucy and Ethel’s motorized trikes before getting them all excited about riding them outside.

! I learned that Toys R Us is the equivalent of a parental meat market. Though it was fun laughing at the parents who actually brought their children, which I believe qualifies as a form of masochism in certain cultures.

! I learned that it’s not a good idea to show up last (and late) to a big division wide staff meeting, especially when I forgot my suit coat and I live the closest to the main office.

! I learned that when the neighbors across the street are throwing a party catered by a professional BBQ company with a grill mounted to a trailer that is longer than my truck and I am not invited, it’s better to go our for the night than to be seduced by the smell of the smoke from the 4-5 hickory trees they must have been burning to cook the meat on.

! I learned that when female coworker offers to buy us lunch, it’s best to make fun of her after she has paid. This is especially true when I ordered the large ‘lunch’ steak special.

And lastly,

! I learned that when at a fancy fundraising event for Lucy and Ethel’s preschool that I should not appear so eager to take food off of the appetizer plates as they are offered to me. I also learned that while the free gourmet coffee bar was a neat idea, having 5 cups late at night when we are about to lose an hour to Daylight Savings Time isn’t such a smart thing to do. It sure was a pretty sunrise this morning though!


Odat said...

LOL..So I assume you're not in your bunker....;-)

Anonymous said...

I learned that if you wash a man's dishes for him, he will actually consider committing his life to you.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

thanks michael....

smiles, bee

Lizza said...

Barbecue...mmmm. But they didn't share? Meanies.

Glad you got to enjoy a pretty sunrise after a sleepless night!

mist1 said...

I can't believe the neighbors didn't invite you. I would have crashed the BBQ.


Yeah, but since the night was going to be so short anyway because of Daylight Saving Time, it almost made sense to indulge in the free gourmet coffee and just skip sleeping altogether.

you'dneverguess said...

I made the same mistake on Saturday night. I only ever drink coffee in the morning. But I was trying to wake myself up to go see some friends play music at the bar, so I had some coffee. I think I listened to every CD we own until I could finally go to sleep at 4:00 am.

Abigail S said...

Five cups of coffee late at night! Oy! That definitely was asking for trouble!

Glad to see you survived Daylight Savings w/out needing that bunker!