Watch Out For Mother Nature…She’s A Real Mutha.

I’m in the middle of preparing for my blog’s one-year blogiversary spectacular on Thursday, so I may be more brief than usual the next two days. Don’t act so relieved! Perhaps, just perhaps I will finally create my elusive Perfect Post for Thursday. Of course, the pressure to do something big Thursday is crushing my skull, so thinking hasn’t been real easy. Maybe I should just take the day off…

While at SeaWorld yesterday, I noticed the sign I posted today, well, posted in front of these pink birds. I immediately saw the humor in it and after twenty minutes of explaining it in detail to those around me; they agreed that it was indeed blogworthy. Although I did have to explain ‘blogworthy’ to the elderly German couple next to me, but they eventually agreed. It might have helped that I bought them an ice cream and a churro to snack on.

Seriously folks, how cruel can Mother Nature be? The Lesser Flamingo? What a slap in the face. Sure, these birds aren’t smart enough to know that we are putting them down, but what a horrible name. I guess the name comes from the pale pinkish color of their feathers as opposed to the bright, full color plumage of ‘normal’ flamingos. If there is a Lesser Flamingo, does that mean the ‘normal’ flamingo needs to be called the Official Flamingo or Flamingo Personified or the Poster Flamingo? No wonder the Lesser Flamingos were squawking every time someone walked up.

I personally thought the ‘Lessers’ looked nice. In fact, they bore such a resemblance to the pink cotton candy that Lucy and Ethel were eating; I thought it would be cute to pose them in front of the ‘Lessers’ while holding their bag of cotton candy. Unfortunately, after the picture was taken, it looked like they were tiny twin hunters proudly holding up the Lesser Flamingo they just bagged. Accordingly, I decided not to post that pic today for fear of mistaken retaliation by either animal rights groups or the federal animal protection folks. Plus I didn’t want to have to give up my annual pass just yet…

Granted I am very tired after pushing two twin Barbara Walters (they ask soooo many questions) around in a stroller all day yesterday, but I can only think of one other instance right now of Momma Nature being so cruel. The donkey. Does the little guy really deserve the nickname of A$$? What did the donkey ever do? Just work his little bushy tail off, that’s all! Maybe the donkey should be renamed the ‘work horse’ or the ‘Farmer’s Bitc-.’ OK, scratch that, I got a little carried away. That last name isn’t so flattering.

Mother Nature has made many cruel jokes in her time. The giraffe, elephant, walrus, and duck-billed platypus come to mind, as does my face, but I’m choosing not to dwell on that right now. Why was it so necessary to pit the Flamingo against the Lesser Flamingo? All this did was ensure that the Lesser Flamingo would be an aggressive fighter and the Flamingo would take things for granted. In the end, the Lesser Flamingo may just prevail. YOU GO, UNDERDOG, OR UNDERBIRD!!! Gheesh, underbird sounds kind of demeaning too. I had better just stop here.

Now why do I hear the strains of Johnny Cash’s ‘A Boy Named Sue’ playing in the background?