Come on 7…

AndreAnna at Diary of a Diapering Madwoman tagged me with a meme the other day. So, I need to provide 7 random things about myself. That didn’t seem like too hard of a task until I sat down and tried to figure out what I was willing to share with blogsville. I mean do I really want people knowing that some day I want to buy an ice cream truck to go cruising around in with my friends? Shoot, I guess that cat’s now out of the bag. Well, I’m not counting that one, and since my heart problems, PEZ dispenser collection, hatred for office cubicles and addiction to NASCAR have already been chronicled, here are 7 extraordinarily random things about me. Thanks for tagging me AndreAnna; the bruise is almost a purplish brown now, which I think is the last shade before it disappears…

1. I would like to own a restaurant one day. It would also serve as a place to hang out with friends or family and I could have my very own booth, like Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio and Sinatra did at Toots Shor’s. The restaurant wouldn’t be anything fancy and would serve BBQ, burgers, fries, breakfast (like my favorite, the breakfast burrito), etc. Possible names for it would be Little Mike’s, Ordinary’s, or maybe Grubby’s Grub Garage – not that I’ve given this a ton of thought or anything. I don’t want the food to be too good though because I would really prefer that Bobby Flay doesn’t show up one day to challenge me to a Food Network Throw Down. If Giada wanted though, I’d probably be ok with that, but I’m straying from the point here.

2. I really like Christmas. This one is a little embarrassing, but I love the music, the décor and the lights. In fact, by about the 9th of December Lucy and Ethel are already sick of me throwing them in the truck to go and look at Christmas lights. Gheesh, they’re only 4 ½ so I hope I haven’t already ruined that experience for them. One of my favorite movies ever is ‘A Christmas Story’ (I finally got a lady leg lamp last year – woo hoo) and I still throughoughly enjoy watching A Charlie Brown Christmas and Rudolph. By the way, if you are new to this blog, I am still wondering why all of the figures in Rudolph have black, dirty hands. Don’t believe me? Wait until it airs next December. I am very proud of my A Christmas Story and Charlie Brown t-shirt collection. Wow, I can’t believe I’m sharing this stuff! I’ve always figured that this enjoyment of the holiday is linked to the fact that my birthday is on Christmas Eve, but it could just be a chemical imbalance in my brain…which serves to explain a lot about me.

3. I met Ronald Reagan in his Los Angeles office in 1997. When I worked for the FOX Network’s Publicity Department, I worked just a few floors below his massive office and knew someone who knew the secret service and they hooked me up. He was already under the grips of Alzheimer’s, but his secretary took pictures the whole time I was there, so I will always have that to show people. Although he didn’t say much, he actually uttered his famous ‘well.’ I remember thinking how cool that was, especially since I had been trying to impersonate him since elementary school. I also got to have a nice conversation with one of his secret service agents. You know, they aren’t as intimidating as I thought they would be. The President had a chunk of the Berlin Wall in a display case as soon as you got off the elevator, which was neat to see too.

4. I think that David Letterman, Dave Barry, Fred Willard, Bob Newhart, Tina Fey and anyone else associated with Saturday Night Live are the funniest people on the planet. Although I should admit that there might be a few funny Russians. It’s just that I have never seen them and I don’t think Yakov Smirnov is a good representation of Russian humor. Anything that any of those people have been involved in make me giggle incessantly like a 12-year old schoolgirl from the time they start to the time they finish. Seeing their work makes me feel like I have the sense of humor of a German rocket scientist…or a monk who has taken a vow of silence.

5. I think Frank Sinatra was the coolest cat who ever lived. In fact, I almost bought a Sinatra type fedora a few weeks ago to try to capture that coolness. However, it didn’t capture my coolness (which is directly proportionate to the fact that I have no coolness) and thus I did not purchase it.

6. My Lucy and Ethel have to me my favorite things in the world. They are by far the best accomplishment I have ever or will ever achieve. In my opinion (granted I’m a biased Daddy), they are beautiful, full of energy and the funniest people (aside from those listed in #4 above) I have ever witnessed. They try so hard to make people laugh and usually succeed. At 4 ½ they are already smarter than I am, which is quite a handicap when I try to deal with them. I also think they are way cuter than the Olson twins are, which means we’re losing out on millions a year, but I’m not counting. There would be a huge void in my life without them, though I may get more sleep and not have to share my food as often (which is something I’m really, really bad at).

7. I’m not a fan of big cities. Before a recent change at work, I had to drive into LA several times a week and I hated it. Although I enjoy going to sporting events in LA, I hate the crowds, traffic and so many people in one place. I guess I’m a big fan of suburbia, but given a choice, I would rather live on a big spread of land without a fence separating me from my neighbors. I feel lucky that I have such a big backyard now with only one neighbor on one side of me. While I like lakes and streams, I am more of an ocean guy. I think I’ve strayed off topic again, but I don’t care a whole lot for large, crowded metropolitan areas. Did I already mention that? I guess I just like space. Besides, when I have more space, I can sing aloud without fearing other people hearing me and I can blast the Bee Gees in my truck with the windows down without people in the lanes next to me laughing. Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam…