It’s Pulled Pork Time In Georgia!

Well, today was a heck of a day. Perhaps it was the fact that I was with 100 four-year-olds and their parents all day. Maybe it was the fact that I have to be with 300 parents and their 3-5 year-olds at a park all day tomorrow. Possibly it could be the fact that during the first graduation ceremony at the twins' preschool today, the only one of the 50 little graduates that had a breakdown was my oldest twin. Or maybe it's just because during the second ceremony only one preschooler experienced a meltdown and you guessed it, it was my youngest twin. Yep out of 100 children total who graduated, sang, danced and stood in front of their families today, mine were the only two that had to be removed from the stage because of crying fits. Let's put it this way, Lucy and Ethel's new bounce house takes less than 60 seconds to inflate and I didn't have enough patience or energy to wait that long. Where is all of this going? I'm reposting tonight. I promise I'll try to be original tomorrow. I wrote this story at the beginning of this past January, before the most recent huge hog was killed.

A Georgia resident recently shot an 1100-pound wild hog says the Associated Press. The man shot the animal when he spotted it in a neighbor’s yard. After shooting the hog, he took it to a weight station to see just how big it was. This guy is just like me. Whenever I kill something, my first reaction is to drag it to the closest scale. Unfortunately, flies, mosquitoes and moths don’t weigh that much so the thrill is kind of lacking. Although it’s still not determined whether this hog is the biggest ever found in Georgia, it does weigh a few hundred pounds more than the famous ‘Hogzilla’ that was killed a few years ago. I guess that makes this pig Mothra-hog?

It is now hanging from a tree in the man’s front yard, which is a good thing since houses always seem to look so bare after all the Christmas lights and decorations are taken down. The fact that it’s a dead obese animal and will probably start to have a horrible stench within the next few days is completely irrelevant, of course. I can’t think of a better way to keep those pesky neighborhood kids from running through your lawn than a dead feral pig swaying from a tree.

There is apparently no confirmation yet as to whether or not the hunter will have the hog stuffed and displayed as a trophy. Regardless, taxidermists from Georgia to Florida are probably clearing their calendars for the next week. I imagine that the National Enquirer is already stopping the presses (do they still do that) and readying a story about how the first flying pig has been found after it died in-flight and plunged to the ground. I can see the headline now: “Captured Flying Pig Prompts Scientists to Search For Cows In Lunar Orbit.” Sorry, that was the best I could do. It’s late and the power has gone out here three times tonight due to the wind…

I wonder how feral pork (another great name for a rock band, perhaps) tastes. It’s a good bet that there are a few BBQ joints that wouldn’t mind finding out. You know, I spent most of New Year’s Eve cutting back the peach tree in my backyard so that I could start smoking pork and beef with delicious peach wood. Hey, I’ve got an idea; maybe I could sell the BBQ joints some of my dried peach wood. What did you think I was going to say? After all, I wouldn’t want to take a chance on wild hog meat. Besides, imagine the shipping costs…