Things I Learned This Week: 6/16/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 6/10/07-6/16/07.

! I learned that when Lucy accidentally hit me in the crotch, I should not have said ‘ouch, you hit my man area.’ ‘Man area’ has now become Lucy and Ethel’s most frequently used phrase, followed of course my ‘lady area.’ Oops.

! I learned that my boss didn’t appreciate me telling the new guy that I do things differently than my boss does when new guy asked me for help. I also learned that I should have told new guy that not everything I’ll be telling him is meant for my boss to hear.

! I learned that just because it’s summer and 100 degrees out, cruising around listening to 40-year-old Beach Boys songs doesn’t make me cool. Now maybe if I was my parents’ age…nah, still wouldn’t be cool.

! I learned that using the phrase ‘wow, did you see how he was macking on her’ hasn’t been popular for several years. No one told me this exactly, I just figured it out when I said it and everyone in the office stopped what they were doing and asked me to repeat myself.

! I learned that Mountain Dews and ice cream are not appropriate nighttime snacks for Lucy and Ethel. How did I learn this you ask? It crossed my mind when they were still up singing to themselves at 1AM.

! I learned that my office doesn’t recognize Flag Day as an official day off. In my book, if it’s important enough to put on a calendar, it is supposed to be a day off. I even called human resources about this, but they didn’t agree with me. Although I get the feeling they put something negative about me in my employee file after I accused them of being heartless dictators.

And lastly,

! I learned that Mr. Lay Low and I should not have tried to convince Female Coworker that she and her fellow jury just helped to send an innocent man to jail when she told us about the case she just finished being a juror on. Apparently, we convinced her too well and she spent the rest of the day feeling very guilty. You’d think by now she knows better than to believe us.

**Also, Happy Birthday to my little brother today**