Things I Learned This Week: 6/30/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 6/22/07-6/30/07.

! I learned that when making homemade non-alcoholic Mint Juleps, only one teaspoon of Peppermint Extract should be used. Trust me, when you use two, you may as well liquefy an Altoid Mint and drink it. It was good for clogged sinuses though!

! I learned that I should never have taught Lucy and Ethel to dance to MC Hammer’s ‘Can’t Touch This.’ While it was cute at first, I am really ready for them to stop saying ‘break it down’ every chance they get.

! I learned that pretending a starfish is stuck to my face while at the interactive tide pools at Sea World is only funny to Lucy and Ethel. The hosts at the tide pools are obviously lacking a sense of humor.

! I learned that before I make fun of a city near our company’s headquarters, I should first learn what city the representative from headquarters lives in. Yes, they happened to be the same city and the last part of lunch was very quiet. I also learned when asked why my clients are doing so well, I should not answer with a joke about how they are bribing me with lots of cash.

! I learned that when in an important quarterly staff meeting with upper management, I should not answer a question about a recent conference call by saying ‘I really can’t remember, I was sleeping through it.’ I think my boss got me out of that one.

! I learned that telling Female Coworker that ‘she’s just one of the guys’ isn’t quite the compliment I intended it to be.

And lastly,

! I learned that leaving the office early because it is my one-year blogiversary is not recognized by our company as an accepted excuse for working a half-day.