It's TP Day

The year was 580. What was going on then? Probably a manhunt for witches, Benedict ends his reign as Pope and the first Starbucks made it's debut in Byzantine. Well, the Benedict thing was real. But what I was talking about was the birth of...Toilet Paper. On this day (who records facts like that?) toilet paper was invented in China.

Was it a big deal? Was it one-ply or double-ply? We're those bears around that had TP stuck to their rears? I have no idea. I just like asking questions. Well, I think the bears were not there and if they were, they would have been pandas.

Truth be told, the toilet paper was produced for the royals in China. I guess everyone else was in...a sticky situation. OK that was bad. Well, not as bad as not having toilet paper!! Anyway, I bet the royals in China were very happy with their new product. Did they have a jester come out and show them it's uses...probably not. Actually the modern toilet wasn't even invented yet. So it probably wasn't even called “toilet” paper. Maybe it was called “paper for that outhouse thingy.”

Kids were probably excited because they had something to throw at their enemy's house. Because I'm sure that “leafing” a neighbor's house just didn't do the trick. And you can bet that at weddings they had empty toilet paper rolls hitched to the wedding party’s buggy. Ticker tape parades got, wait...they probably didn't use toilet paper for that. Well, I hope not!

Let's just be glad that TP isn't for just royalty anymore. Although, the TP royalty uses must be multi-ply. That's why they walk around as if something is stuck between their...I shouldn't say that. I've never ended a blog post so crudely. Let me retry the ending. Let's just be glad TP isn't just for royalty anymore. Because leaves would be very uncomfortable...especially the pine or cactus variety!!

I wrote this in a Starbucks. It''s kind of a neat feeling. Writing someplace and having coffee and music playing. Actually, I do that at home. OK, being driven someplace and writing. I could get used to this. Maybe I am starting to be a real writer. Writing in the corner of a cafe...I asked for the LARGE latte (to quote “So I Married An Axe Murder.”) Well, first I probably should find a better topic than toilet paper...