When The Coffee Is Cold And The Donuts Are Stale.

That title really doesn’t mean anything, but it sounds kinda deep and therefore might get you to read whatever it is I’m about write.  Though telling you that up front kind of defeats the purpose…

!  I had the weirdest sensation last night as I was trying to fall asleep.  The sheep were counting me, but they started getting really frustrated when they kept having to start over at 1 every time.  I guess they didn’t realize it was such a bhaahd idea…sorry, that one deserves an apology.

!  When someone figures out what Elton John is singing about in "Honky Cat," will you please contact me at I.do.not.understand.a.single.lyric.that.bernie.taupin.ever.wrote@confused.com? Thanks in advance.

!  If I could be a superhero, I would want my super power to be a great metabolism so I could be a foodie and not have to pay the price physically.  Metaboman has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

!  I like to speak metaphorically and rhetorically.  I call it metorically and the best thing about it is that I never really have to make sense and when I ask questions, I don’t have to wait around for it to be answered.

!  John Wayne wore a hairpiece, which I think is just as bad as Kenny Rogers and Burt Reynolds having plastic surgery, or having ribs that weren’t slow smoked for 8 hours.  Although, you really couldn’t tell that John Wayne was wearing one…Yes, Misters Rogers and Reynolds, that’s a burn!!

!  My friends think it’s so weird that there is an earthquake that shakes the table causing us to have to start our Jenga game over EVERY time I am about to pull out the block that will make the tower fall.  Boy, that is odd…

!  So, I've been driving the same truck for almost 5 years and still can't find the cupholder without looking. I hate when you can't find the right hole and there’s all that fumbling around...that's what she said.