Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Is It Hot Enough For Ya?

I honestly hate when people ask me that, but I’ll get to that in a minute. First, I want to draw attention to my inaugural (doesn’t that make it sound all official and prestigious) Window of the Week, or Wednesday Window of the Week. It comes from a long time visitor here, ChefMom. If I remember correctly, this was taken in Florida and it has caused me to play Jimmy Buffett since putting it up on my cube’s walls. Seriously, look at that ode to a tropical/nautical/palm treed oasis and then try listening to The Carpenters, Bee Gees or even Barry Manilow. It just doesn’t work. In fact, it’s like putting chocolate syrup on your perfectly grilled t-bone. I can tell you though that the window idea is proving popular with my coworkers. They all stopped in to look at my window and smiled when I told them why a random picture is hanging in my office. They seem to think it’s a very good idea and are most likely smiling at me to mask their jealousy that they don’t have a window and that they didn’t think of it before I did. Of course, as soon as they walk out they all congregate near the fax machine and laugh. They may be mocking me, but they don’t have windows like I do. Those fools! They’ll be asking me for my windows soon. They’ll come begging. You’ll see.

Now, as for the heat statement. On the unofficial, non-workplace endorsed list of 2008 holidays (Hi Kat), Wednesday is ‘Is It Hot Enough For Ya Day.’ I guess it happens every July 23rd. The ironic part about it this year is that in my part of So Cal, it has been unusually cool. I guess cool isn’t the correct word, but I will say that I woke up in the middle of the night Monday and had to turn off the fans because I was so cold, but then I am on blood thinners and react to cooler weather the same way a medication-laden octogenarian does. We’ll just say a paper cut causes me to bleed like an artery was severed. There have also been clouds and a cool breeze. Basically, not quite the weather that would make me say ‘is it hot enough for ya?’ I have said, ‘wow, what nice weather we’re having,’ recently though. Gheesh, can I possibly get any more boring here? Don’t answer that.

After typing those last few sentences, I feel like I should be ending my weather related phrases with ‘sonny.’ I’ve always felt that talking about the weather was something you start doing when a) you have nothing else to talk about, b) you are retired or c) you have reached the age where you get grumpy if you are not eating dinner at the local diner by 4PM. Whenever we used to decide to go out to eat, we’d try to get there early to beat the crowd, thus leaving our friends to ridicule us for being old. So what if we prefer shuffleboard to volleyball. Though it is interesting to sit in a restaurant with two five year olds while everyone else around us is gumming their food or requesting that their pot roast be strained and mashed to the consistency of baby food. I’M KIDDING!! Hold back on the hate e-mail, I’m just kidding.

It does strike me as odd that summer, the hottest time of the year, is considered BBQ weather. That might hold true for the guests at the BBQ, but certainly does not for the person assigned the grilling duties. Think about it: it’s 100 degrees out and you are sweating over a 375+ degree fire in the grill. I’m not good at math, but doesn’t that create a combined ambient temperature of 475 degrees? Right? I used the word ambient to give my equation more validity; that’s not normally how I speak. And then comes winter when it’s freezing outside and you can warm yourself over the same hot grill, but everyone else is huddled warmly inside or didn’t even bother to come over because no moron invites people to a Hawaiian themed BBQ in the dead cold frozen abyss of winter. And trust me because I may or may not be speaking from experience, depending on what that would do to your opinion of me.

So in conclusion, to celebrate Wednesday’s holiday, I sincerely ask you ‘is it hot enough for ya…sonny Jim?’

10 comments:

Employee No. 3699 said...

Okay, I will admit that it is more than hot enough for me now. Mid summer or the dead of winter in six months. Being pre-menopausal...yeah what ever to those of you thinking I shouldn't admit that, but whatever. So yeah It. Is. Hot. Enough. For. Me. Anyhoo, loved that window scene. Next time I have one of these &%#$'n Hot Flashes I will visualize myself there.

cmk said...

There are very few places in the US that WOULDN'T be hot enough for me--I prefer temps of no more than 68 degrees, and ideally, lower. That is why I live in the Great White North! :)

Eva said...

Early Bird Specials rock. And your whole bit about BBQ'n in the "dead cold frozen abyss of winter"? In Southern California?!?! People have no need to "huddle" anywhere here unless they're wearing shoulder pads. The football kind, not the 80s women's wear kind.

Oh, and I have a question for next Monday: Have you dropped your quest to have "Now if you'll excuse me I have to go x-ray my chicken" become a part of society's vernacular?

Candace said...

It is, in fact, NOT hot enough for me. It's only 63 degrees right now. I think I need to go fire up the grill! I wonder if astronauts can train for Mars by grilling in So Cal. . .

chefmom said...

(Chefmom quickly walks from the back of the room to get to the stage to make her speach) "*Sniff, Sniff* I'd like to thank the Academy, I mean Michael for choosing my photo as the inaugural 'Window' in his cube. I worked long and hard to take that photo and yes Jimmy Buffett is the only thing you can play, while sitting out there. I'm so honored! You like me, you really, really like me!"
And yes, it is WAY to hot for me!

Mel Heth said...

I was just thinking "brrr" when I left my house this morning. For a So Cal summer, it is unusually cool. So, I guess my answer would be NO. No, it's not hot enough for me. But I will soldier on through this temperate summer until we have a heat wave in October. Then I will complain about it being too hot.

Ralph said...

C'mon, it is a manly pursuit to burn meat in a controlled way (ie: Grill)...on a HOT day over a very hot mound of coal the color of Orange. Yes, the 'at the grill' temp is hotter than for the spectators in the stands. But it is a small price to pay for excellent BBQ!

On a Limb with Claudia said...

Why is it bbq season in the summer? Are you freakin' nuts? It's snowing the rest of the year. Trust me, little Cali' Claudia has tried to light the grill in the snow - it doesn't work!

Hannah said...

Hi there.
I am with you & Mel on this one. It has not been that hot. It's kind of weird actually. But it has been really humid. Which I think is worse. I will take hot over humid any day of the week.

I thought that too about BBQing. It seems that standing over hot coals would be better in the winter.

magickat said...

"Is it hot enough for ya?" is right up there with "Are we having fun yet?" in the idiotic rhetorical questions list!!!

I boycott this holiday!!! I don't care that I am several days late for it! :)