Wait A Second, I Have A Blog??

It has been pointed out to me by oh, about 50 people in the last few months or so that I have what is apparently called a blog, which I’m told is short for web log. If that was the case though, shouldn’t it be called a Wlog (pronounced Wuh-log. Just said much quicker)? I have also been told that I have let that blog sit unbathed, unfed and unnurtured in the back of the intraweb’s shed for quite some time. Today I strive to change that.

The reason for my rededication to my Wlog is that I still do enjoy writing (defined by this individual as typing whatever comes to mind, spell checking it and hitting the nearest publish button) and the fact that I for no real good reason quit my pretty decent job last week. This now gives me plenty of spare time. But since I have already done the laundry, been to Disneyland and made fun of the tourists wearing socks and sandals and sorted my Barry Manilow CDs by favorite song AFTER Copacabana, I am looking for more to do.

It’s not that I haven’t had a wealth of experiences in the last several months to draw from. Take my two separate visits to some of Southern California’s favorite mental institutions. There was a wealth of bloggable stuff right there – like the fact that there is an exit sign every 3 feet but of course you can’t use a single one of them. Or the fact that we were feed every 45 minutes as if we were at the Karen Carpenter Memorial Hospital for the un-hungry and two-finger dieters. Then there’s the nurse that came to give me my meds and asked if they looked correct to me. Oh, lest I forget that I was the best basketball player in one certain mental institution, which I have found since my discharge gives me about as much street cred as Kimberly Drummond must have had when Arnold and Willis weren’t around.

But the most surprising element of my two uh, ‘vacations,’ was the fact that they still use leeches to bleed the bad mental mojo out of you. OK, I made the leech part up. They actually cut you with a surgical knife to bleed you. Apparently certain leeches are on the protected list.

Oh yeah, then there’s that whole thing about me becoming a daddy again. It hasn’t happened yet, but will towards the end of July. That will give me 3 daughters and undoubtedly an early stroke. It will also mean that after almost 7 years, I will have to get up again in the middle of the night and do stuff. Fortunately baby feeding and diaper changing isn’t rocket science so I should be able to manage at least partially ok. What will be harder to get used to is the return of crying, pouting and whining back into our home. And that’s just me when someone forgets to wrap the cheese back up properly…I know it’s been a while, but seriously, these are the jokes.

I guess that’s about it for my first blog back. I don’t want to say too much lest I use up all my story ideas, even though the Swine Flu should keep me busy for a while. So, what did we learn while I stopped blogging? Apparently it made me go crazy and want to procreate. Let that be a warning to everyone tempted to quit blogging!