Thursday, September 04, 2008

Random As The Week Goes By

I’m trying for the philosophic angle with my title this week. And as I have been doing the last few weeks on Random Fridays, I would like to introduce you to Paul Simon. I reference him below and I find it shocking, appalling and just downright unnerving that most of my coworkers are not familiar with his music. Oh sure, they’ve HEARD of Simon and Garfunkel, but then Garfunkel is as distinct and memorable a name as Butts, Hasselhoff, Obama and Smith. Let’s face it; once you’ve heard it, you are not going to forget Garfunkel. And, it’s fun to say. A lot of fun to say. It’s Garfunkally or Garfunkalicious, if you will, or won’t. It’s your choice.

Simon however? Not as memorable. Perhaps this is Paul’s problem. At any rate, I wanted to introduce him to you, just in case you are in the same boat (The USS Unawareness) as my coworkers. If it makes you feel better while reading this, you can ‘call me Al.’ But then it is readily apparent that I am ‘still crazy after all these years.’ Crazy yes, but not as secluded as the ‘boy in the bubble.’ Perhaps I come off that way because I wrote some of this so ‘late in the evening.’ So, take a gander at the photo on the left. It might even have been photographed on ‘Kodachrome.’ I also wish to go to ‘Graceland,’ which I realize has nothing to do with anything I am writing about, but I’d feel very guilty if I didn’t manage to work that title in somehow.

Since my guessing contest yesterday was ruined by none other than me, I am again awarding major bonus points to be redeemed at truck stop travel centers everywhere if you can name the song being sung and where it was sung at the time of this photo. I rolled over yesterday’s unclaimed bonus points into today people, so let’s get this one! Aww dangit, I saved the photo with the name of where it was taken. This is just getting ridiculous…


* Isn’t it amazing how one family member’s recollection that you used to love doing Fonzie impersonations can ruin what was otherwise a great family get together for you? This is even more emphasized when the rest of your family starts doing their impersonations of you as a little boy doing a Fonzie impersonation. Are you still with me there? That was a lot of impersonating I just described.

* I know I am always going on about the need to turn the Ipod off while away from your workspace, but seriously, heed my warning. I returned from lunch yesterday to the sounds of Karen Carpenter singing ‘Touch Me When We’re Dancing.’ The kicker is that the song that was playing before leaving for lunch had a really low volume level that I had to turn up considerably to hear and enjoy and (yep, you guessed it) the Carpenters song was very loud. EVERYBODY heard the sultry sounds of Karen Carpenter beckoning them to dance closely with her to a disco beat. While the choice of song selection may not reflect poorly on the late Ms. Carpenter, it did NOTHING to help my standing in the office. Can anyone else tell from that last sentence that I have been watching way too much ‘CNN On Politics?’

* The minute I saw Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin, I immediately thought of Tina Fey. Then, it seemed like no one else was mentioning what I saw as being so obvious. The great Meleah finally turned me on to several other people and places that made the same connection. Half of me was relieved that someone else saw the same obviousities (yes, I made that one up too) as I did, but the other 25% of me was very sad that this meant I did not have special powers. Wait, that’s only 75%. Man, I hate math. I guess the other 25% of me was sitting in a corner somewhere doing a happy dance to MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch this or something. I blame that on the fact that I don’t get a lot of down time and rarely know how to spend it when I do.

* I was helping our ‘not so digitally, electronically and high techically aware’ coworker pair his company issued phone with our new company issued Bluetooth headsets. You can imagine my grand moment of oops when I realized I had accidentally paired his Bluetooth with a complete stranger’s phone on the other side of the office where the public comes in and out. Now, how to apply this knowledge to high jinx, pranks and tomfoolery? Just think of the possibilities.

* Here’s a tip for ya: when you come across a juicy musical trivia factoid (a Clavenism, if you will) about who some of the famous background singers were on Elton John’s “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” (including Carl Wilson and Toni Tenille of The Captain and Tenille, as if I had to remind you of the group she was from), don’t play the song loudly in your cubicle 4 times in a row to try to hear said famous background singers. Although you might be focused on hearing the music, your coworkers get a VERY different impression when you are hunkered down in your work cube playing such a depressing song over and over. Then people have to start approaching you asking uncomfortable questions like ‘are you ok,’ ‘can we get you anything’ and the best one, ‘you know, there’s a number you can call anonymously to get some help with whatever you are dealing with.’ Actually, that reminds me, here’s another tip: don’t try to defend your actions by saying something like ‘oh, don’t worry about me, I’m fine. I am just trying to hear the background singers. You know, as in really hear them, not just hear them.’

* I took what I thought were great ingredients: Me, a coworker named Julio and a drive by a local schoolyard on our lunch break. Then I started singing Paul Simon’s ‘Me and Julio Down By The School Yard.’ It didn’t work. Not to get all Agent Smart on you, but ‘would you believe’ not a single person in the car had a clue as to what I was singing. Seriously, you wait YEARS to befriend a Julio, position him within a reasonable proximity of a school yard and then the whole thing backfires. Well, hopefully the first cat (not a feline - I’m trying to be cool) I meet named Kotter will want to be welcomed back…

Have a great Friday and weekend everybody! Remember, it’s still summer, if you really want it to be. Unless you want it to be Fall. You could probably make that happen. Or should it be Autumn? You know what, never mind...

15 comments:

Hannah said...

I totally thought of Tina Faye too! I don't know who else SNL has to do an impression. I bet you a nickel that she'll come back for a special appearance.

P.S.
My happy dance is usually to "popmuzic" by M

meleah rebeccah said...

Im happy to see that you are NO LONGER throwing my beloved Tina Fey underneath the Sara Palin bus.

Im sorry you don't have magical powers...but you are one hell of a great writer!!

-----

"if you can name the song being sung and where it was sung at the time of this photo...."

STILL CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS ON SNL!! Please tell me I am right?

-----
And I will be saying the name Garfunkle ALL DAY now.

cmk said...

I LOVE ME some Paul Simon songs--a lot of times more than Simon & Garfunkel ones. I attribute this to the fact I remember when 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' was being played on every radio station every 15-30 minutes, 24 hours a day, every day for about 349 years. I also remember trying to poke my eardrums out with a dull pencil the last time I heard the song. I do, however, think that enough time has passed that I could hear the song once again without screaming. But I won't promise I won't cringe.

Eva said...

darnit! meleah totally beat me to it. as soon as i saw that photo, i started singing it in my head. it's classic SNL! [okay, back to reading the rest of your post now]

Eva said...

okay, i'm done reading now. :) I have to go all Cliff Claven on your ass too now: Did you know that Toni Tenille did background vocals on Pink Floyd's The Wall? Neither did I, until I was reading the liner notes over the weekend. Don't hate me cuz I'm cool.

And I am totally down with summer continuing on like Labor Day never even happened.

Patti said...

"Still Crazy After All These Years" when he hosted Saturday Night Live


that was an easy one for an older person like myself, Michael..

Like Eva, I rushed here to write my answer. Returning to post...

Patti said...

This is such a classic paragraph:

"Seriously, you wait YEARS to befriend a Julio, position him within a reasonable proximity of a school yard and then the whole thing backfires. Well, hopefully the first cat (not a feline - I’m trying to be cool) I meet named Kotter will want to be welcomed back…"

Ohmigosh I was laughing so hard. That song was popular when I was a senior in high school and reminds me of a good friend who moved to England.

Elton sang about a cat named Hercules..remember that one? He sure is one MADMAN ACROSS THE WATER. I do believe he has gone beyond the Yellow Brick Road.

This is a really fun post, Michael.
;-D

chefmom said...

OH, I am so stealing "The USS Unawareness"...ok? I was laughing SO HARD at this post. I too, would wait years, just to befriend a "Julio", so I could sing the song. I LOVE Simon and Garfunkel. And seriously, your knowledge of music baffles my mind.

Employee No. 3699 said...

Okay, so others have alreay guessed correctly. I knew I should have stayed up a little later last night and be the first to comment.

You know, you could get another dog and name him Julio...

And, yeah it's still summer. Look! Here Comes the Sun.

Natalie said...

I am very sad for your disappointing Julio moment. It would have made me cry

Mel Heth said...

Garfunkel is like Krayzelberg and should be used in place of other words regularly.

I think if you had spliced in "Love Will Keep Us Together" (Captain and Tenille in the lower voice) between "Don't Let the Sun" plays, it would've enabled you to do voice-to-voice comparison and maybe allayed some of the concerns of your coworkers. Next time, my friend...

sari said...

I was watching Project Runway the other night and Tim Gunn said "That looks rather Sgt. Pepper" to one of the contestants...who replied "What's that?"

Ack!!!!

Selma said...

She is definitely Tina Fey's evil twin. Love Paul Simon. I have two faves - 'Still Crazy' and 'American Tune.' Beeyootiful!

magickat said...

She DOES look like TIna Fey.

AND AND AND!!!!!

They mentioned it on one of the news shows on MSNBC. One of the shows where they have like 6 or seven screens showing political experts and such all arguing their loud points over one another while a host is in the middle of the screen. I was watching it and shot straight up off the couch at the remark. I thought FINALLY someone is talking about what we've all been thinking. They said Palin was like an SNL parody and how perfect iot would be for Weekend Update!!!

Since Tina is gone from the show I think it is going to be Casey Wilson taking on the Sarah Palin roles. Unless Tina comes on to guest, that is! There is always hope for that!!!

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