Things I Learned This Week: 4-14-07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 4/8/07-4/14/07.

! I learned that it is possible to pay the Vet $500 and still be able to leave his clinic without knowing why my wife’s cat lost the use of her front paw.

! I learned that when I am smoking meat on the BBQ and it is a rather windy day, I should close the sliding glass door to the patio. Or I need to have a very strong scented Yankee candle ready and burning before anyone else gets home.

! I learned that when I am trying a new sleeping medication for the first time, I should not answer a call from work at 3: 15 in the morning. This is especially true if I do not wish to be taunted about my incoherence during that phone call for the remainder of the week!

! I learned that I need to make sure from now on that I hard-boiled the eggs before Lucy and Ethel color them. I also need to verify that all eggs have been found after the Easter egg hunt.

! I learned that my niece wasn’t wearing a belt that had a squeeze toy attached to it so it would make a sound when you touched her tummy. Apparently, it was my nephew holding the squeeze toy in his pocket. I hate being so gullible, especially in front of the in-laws.

! I learned that Thursday was not casual day at work after I showed up in cargo pants an untucked shirt but that Friday was when I showed up in a shirt and tie. For you regular readers, I guess I got a taste of my own medicine.

And lastly,

! I learned that you know you are in the middle of nowhere when you see a street called Whispering Spur and you notice that just feet from there is a red barn with a sign reading ‘Cow Town USA Square Dancing.’ I was tempted to enter the building and ask for an order of dose-e-do to go.