Thursday, December 03, 2009

The Annual Christmas Letter

We all hate them, we all mock them and some of us actually take the time to write them. It’s the annual bragging Christmas letter, that we send to family and other people we want to feel superior to. I present to you this year’s edition of the Christmas card letter as written from a wife’s point of view:

Dear Friends, Family and Frenemies:

Wow, I can’t believe another year has come and gone. It seems like just last year at this time I was writing our Christmas letter. It’s been another amazing year for the family and while I haven’t bothered to take the time to call or even email many of you, you all have been on our minds and more importantly, in our hearts. I hope your 2007 has been as wonderful, splendid, fantastic and terrific (not to mention busy, he he,he,) as ours has.

We were so lucky to be able to begin the year with the birth of our 10th child Annabelle, or as I like to call her, Annabellicious (I keep telling hubby that just two more will make it an even dozen). She was born a beautiful girl and all the doctors say that she was the prettiest baby they had ever seen. It’s been just under a year and she can already do fractions.

Of course the twins Niles and Frasier continue to be little rascals. Who knows what they will get into next. Why just last week I caught them eating whip cream right out of the can. I mean really, can you just imagine. They’re so naughty, but I guess that’s what you get with boys. Stuart entered the 6th grade this fall and he is already doing calculus. His teacher says he’s the brightest boy he’s ever taught and he was elected school president. Susie made the cheerleading squad again and is dating the quarterback. She also got the lead in the school production of ‘Grease.’ Unfortunately we thought it a little to risqué so she decided to take a knitting class.

Harold has been an alter boy at every single mass this year and he scored the winning goal at this year’s soccer championships. Lucy’s got the lead in the community ballet and she continues to volunteer at the retirement home. Phil is a junior this year and is already applying to Harvard (I like to say he’s got ivy in his veins). Amanda just learned how to walk and Freddie is scheduled to go up in the space shuttle next year.

You’d think I had my hands full with the kids, but I also found time to donate a wing to the hospital, sew blankets for the orphanage and volunteer (again) for the church carnival. You can imagine husband’s surprise when I returned from Kenya last month with our newly adopted son. I just don’t know where I get my strength. Maybe it’s from those yellow pills in the bathroom. Oops, I guess the cat is out of the bag on that ditty.

How about husband you ask? Well, he’s been ok. The firm was doing so well that he started a second one. Husband outsourced some of the phone operators to Liechtenstein and with the money the firm saved, we built a library solely devoted to the works of Dr. Seuss and Jack Kerouac. He finally got the roof up on the ranch in Kauai and the cottage in Vale should be done next spring. I’m just glad he found the time to attend all the kids’ special events. I can’t believe he had to build our 15th bookshelf for all the awards they keep winning!

Well, enough about us. As you can tell, it’s been another hectic but quiet year. I keep hoping we’ll have exciting news to share one of these years, but I guess for now we should call ourselves the Ho-Hums. We’re just so relieved that Lucy’s surgery went well and now we can all celebrate the holidays together at the castle in Scotland. We want to wish you a wonderful holiday season and we’ll try to think about calling all of you upon our return, in February!

P.S. the dog had puppies again. I guess we really should put her in at night. Oh, I know I’m being just awful.

14 comments:

SilverNeurotic said...

So, do we look forward to having your letter published tomorrow?

meleah rebeccah said...

Best.Letter. EVER!

justrun said...

Hahahahhahaa!

Lemon Stand said...

Yup, another classic.... now, what is in your CURRENT Christmas letter? (Besides blue screen) Mine is blank but folded neatly in the envelope with lots of glitter to douse the unsuspecting victim... er, I mean family member or friend... :)

C said...

You're so insane, Michael! LOL

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Shutterbug8162 said...

Hey, you found my mom's letter. hahaha.

That was funny. My first visit to your site, but I will be back. (No Arnie impersonation intended.)

secret agent woman said...

Anonymous is tryong, but clearly doesn't know how to write a good Chritmas letter.

One year my Mom and I drafted a holiday letter telling every bad thng that had happened in the family that year. We laughed ourselves silly.

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terri said...

Meleah sent me your way and it was well worth the trip! I see you got your hands on my sister-in-law's Christmas letter!

Michael C said...

Thanks Terri. It sounds like I stole the letter from a few people :D

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TheWISDOMWALL.com

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