The Top Ten things usually told to me at my 4th of July celebration

It's 4th of July weekend!! That means it's time for our annual extravaganza of food, fun, friends and yes - fireworks!! It's also the time of year when I tend to mess up all 4 of those things...

10. We tell you every year that there are no such things as Independence Day Carols!

9. Your dancing waters of fire’ extravaganza looks a lot like you're just spraying lighter fluid over the grill from different angles. Are you sure that’s safe? And next time will you please take the meat off the grill first.

8. I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to add lighter fluid to charcoal that comes already soaked in it. Well yes, I suppose you can see the flames from space…

7. Seriously, you aren’t going to stop playing that Lee Greenwood song over and over are you?

6. Well, it’s just that building an Independence Day Snow Man out of charcoal, ice and grass clippings seems a little messy, that’s all.

5. It’s usually a good idea to ask your guests first before turning on the sprinklers and announcing it’s time for the Traditional July 4^th Running Of The Sprinklers…

4. Uh, exactly how old is the eggnog in that punch bowl?

3. I really don’t think tying 10 sparklers together and throwing them in the air constitutes a ‘fireworks display.’ And no, yelling ‘look, a fireworks display’ doesn’t change that.

2. These pictures are going to be uploaded to Facebook with really stupid captions, aren’t they?

And the number one thing usually told to me at my 4^th of July celebration…

1. Is that bacon wrapped around my hot dog? And quit saying ‘that’s what she said!’