Friday, July 03, 2009

The Top Ten things usually told to me at my 4th of July celebration

It's 4th of July weekend!! That means it's time for our annual extravaganza of food, fun, friends and yes - fireworks!! It's also the time of year when I tend to mess up all 4 of those things...

10. We tell you every year that there are no such things as Independence Day Carols!

9. Your dancing waters of fire’ extravaganza looks a lot like you're just spraying lighter fluid over the grill from different angles. Are you sure that’s safe? And next time will you please take the meat off the grill first.

8. I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to add lighter fluid to charcoal that comes already soaked in it. Well yes, I suppose you can see the flames from space…

7. Seriously, you aren’t going to stop playing that Lee Greenwood song over and over are you?

6. Well, it’s just that building an Independence Day Snow Man out of charcoal, ice and grass clippings seems a little messy, that’s all.

5. It’s usually a good idea to ask your guests first before turning on the sprinklers and announcing it’s time for the Traditional July 4th Running Of The Sprinklers…

4. Uh, exactly how old is the eggnog in that punch bowl?

3. I really don’t think tying 10 sparklers together and throwing them in the air constitutes a ‘fireworks display.’ And no, yelling ‘look, a fireworks display’ doesn’t change that.

2. These pictures are going to be uploaded to Facebook with really stupid captions, aren’t they?

And the number one thing usually told to me at my 4th of July celebration…

1. Is that bacon wrapped around my hot dog? And quit saying ‘that’s what she said!’


justrun said...

Man, thanks for all the new ideas! I think my family was tiring of the good ol' redneck games I usually come up with!

Michael C said...

You're welcome! If you have any questions while attempting any of them, just let me know ;-)

Michele said...

Hey what happened to you on Facebook? Are you gone? It looks like I'm talking to myself. :O

AislĂ­nge said...

There is a reason why fireworks are illegal in New Jersey...

Patti said...

Never had egg nog on the Fourth of July.

Happy 5th!

secret agent woman said...

You're a dangerous man.

meleah rebeccah said...

I am laughing SO HARD I cant even breathe. These are sofa king funny, I can't even choose which one I liked the best.

But, images of you creating and singing Independence Day Carols [even though they do not exist] will forever be tattooed to my brain.

Suddenly I am craving bacon. Wonder why?

Amy said...

Did you get deleted from Facebook? I haven't seen any status updates in the last two days...did they ban you for good now?

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