This Will Be Good To Keep In Mind

Finally, finally, finally. I have been waiting for some good news like this. In fact, I imagine most of us have. With news like this maybe we can use it to get a little more down time at work. Or home. What am I talking about? Uh, I can’t remember, that’s why I kept hyping it up trying to bide time until I could remember what made me take pen to paper (or fingers to the keyboard) in the first place.

Oh that’s right, it just came to me. And by came to me, I mean after a 2 hour session of pacing, mumbling and head scratching. A recent news story I read said that researchers now believe that naps can help lock in long term memories. So, we now have scientific proof (kind of) that naps are good for us (kind of). Are you looking ahead here? Are you seeing how this could be advantageous to the work force?

Let’s put it this way in the form of my carefully drafted mock conversation: ‘I’m sorry boss man/woman. I can’t remember what you asked me to do. Oh, I had a big report due? Oh, you reminded me about it 2 weeks ago? Hmm, I wonder why I forgot about it. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately. Here boss man/woman, why don’t you read this report I just happen to have that details how napping helps memory. Yes, I thought it would look better printed in 4-color and on card stock. Why can I remember that report but not the one you asked me to do you ask? Uh, I can’t remember?’

So, are you with me yet? Are you seeing how we might be able to parlay this into mandatory naptime at work? I realize that on the surface it looks like our productivity would actually DROP if we took 1-2 naps every day in the middle of the work day, but if we could remember more easily all the things we are supposed to be doing at work, then wouldn’t our productivity actually INCREASE?

It’s a compelling argument and one that I am prepared to make. If naps will make us better workers, I am all for it. Although I must confess that I am not being totally honest here. I really am not that concerned about my better worker status, but if that’s what I have to do to get naps at work, then I can sacrifice my reputation and let management think I am concerned with becoming a better worker. Now I don’t envision me having the time to get us all unionized or following in the footsteps of workers rights leaders like Caesar Chavez, Lech Walesa or Kathie Lee Gifford, but I do feel that naps at work are worth fighting for.

I just wish I wasn’t so tired so that I had more energy to properly pursue the Naps at Work agenda. Hmmm, now that I think about it, does a workers rights initiative with the acronym NAW that deals with napping really portray the tone we want? I say Nah. How about Naps On Work. NOW sounds aggressive, it’s a call to action and portrays a much more proactive stance than NAW. I suppose there is also Sleeping For Better Work, but SFBW sound like a noise I might make while slurping spaghetti noodles or something. While it might be fun hearing our bosses making sounds like that, I’m just not comfortable with something that sounds like slurping being the acronym I may become associated with.

Like any big change in policy or procedure, there are logistics that need to be worked out with the new napping on the job thing. I have no idea where beds or cots are going to fit into my department’s already cramped space. We already use one of our secretary’s desks for coffee, and Miss Single’s office to store our Christmas decorations and my office has file cabinets that need to be used by everyone in the office. During our down time, I routinely try to move my cubicle’s walls out inch by inch to get more space. Barring any unforeseen absence or development, I should have another foot of space to my office by 2011. I’ve actually been tempted to put the anticipated date on the calendar, but since this year is a leap year, I need to rework the numbers a bit first.

I would not mind falling on the sword though, so to speak, and offering up my desk in exchange for a bed in my cube. See, that’s the great thing about being human - our adaptability (well that and our ability to differentiate food textures on our tongues. Although I suppose the opposable thumb thing is pretty important. Just imagine Fonzie saying ‘aaaaay’ while sticking his thumb up). I guarantee you that I will figure out how to adapt to using a bed in my office instead of a desk. There obviously may be some HR issues though when I ask either males or females (I think that covers everybody, except for that ONE person in our office) to have a seat on my bed when they come to my cubicle for a meeting, but I’ll get that worked out. Just let me sleep on it.