Random Bullet Friday

Well, another year has managed to come around, just like the random thoughts I try to ignore. So here it is, bullet time again…

* Getting a bloody nose while showering gives you the rush that you are in a great horror movie. Just don’t bleed too much or the rush will feel much different.

* Even though all the food and topping selections are tempting, take your time when at the salad bar. Confusing red pepper flakes for bacon bits can really alter the taste of your salad in an unexpected and rather uninviting way.

* Before giving your young children chocolate to eat, please make sure they aren’t wearing brand new outfits.

* No matter how much fun it is, coworkers just don’t appreciate you sounding out the entire theme music to ‘Get Smart’ with all ‘bump, buh, bah, bah’ sounds while you are trying to finish a project before the deadline. They also don’t appreciate the big James Bond ‘whah, whah, whah’ climatic ending. Damn, missed it by that much…

* I’ve been kicking around mottos for the new year. I am torn between ‘Things will be great in ‘08’ and ‘Check back around June to see if this year is any different than the last few.’ One conveys hopeful optimism that springs eternal with the changing of the calendar and the other reflects the gritty urban realism of a haggard old veteran of time. Not really. It’s all I could come up with.

* Is It just me or has it been an awfully long time since we last had a Leap Year? Oh wait, never mind. I just checked my calendar.

* I keep hoping that my employer will pay attention to the requests I keep making seeking the approval of an all grey-Dr. Evil type dress code. I suppose the memo they just sent out reminding ‘everyone’ that Halloween is observed on October 31st could be directed at me.

* I dreamt last night that I watched a documentary about cold cut meats and one about Joseph Stalin’s attempts to fill the Russian Army with Human/Chimp hybrids. I was already to write a great blog post about it and then it was pointed out to me that I REALLY DID watch documentaries about both of those things. Now I ask you, is it sadder that people make documentaries out of stuff like that or that I thoroughly enjoyed watching them? Of course, now I want my own Chimp/Man army. The grass is always greener on the other side I tell ya.

* If I decide to enroll in culinary school I wonder if I’ll be bounced out because I won’t be able to stop asking my instructors ‘yeah, but how will that taste fried?’ History has always looked kindly on risk takers, you know.

* To break up the monotony of a quiet afternoon in the office when you’d swear that the clock has stopped ticking, I thoroughly recommend standing in the hallway and singing Elvis’ ‘Blue Hawaii’ while swaying back and forth in a hula-like (my new favorite word) motion. How do I know? Because I just finished doing it and it works.

* Since Michael Scott is the picture for January in my 2008 ‘The Office’ calendar, every time my boss asks me what I was thinking when I made whatever bad decision/s I know I will make before month’s end, I am just going to point to Michael Scott’s picture and say ‘I am guided by a higher force, sir.’ Seriously, who can argue with an answer like that?