Lights Out For The Light Bulb

I know what you are thinking about that title above: ‘wow, that’s original. No brilliance there.’ Get it, brilliance? OK, never mind. Within the next few years, the light bulb will be phased out. We are talking about THE light bulb. You know, the one that Edison invented and the one that you are sitting under while reading this right now. Unless you are using some newfangled light source and then you are one of the ones to blame the death of the light bulb on…and you should be ashamed.

Think about the light bulb for a second. Did a little cartoon light bulb just appear over your head? OK, I’ll stop. Seriously, the light bulb is perhaps one of the most crucial inventions of the last 100+ years. Well, inside plumbing has its benefits, as does the deep fryer, but we wouldn’t even be able to see either one of them without the light bulb. Everything we do outside after dark or inside a building has been due to the invention of the light bulb. Surgeries, weddings, grocery shopping, cooking, dancing to the hits of Lawrence Welk (well, not me on that one per se) and the switching out of light bulbs have all been due to the invention of the light bulb.

Can you imagine our current way of life without artificial light? There would be no more night games in baseball or Monday Night Football. How would you find your car in the parking lot or light that Christmas Tree you should already have taken down? How would we read the 15 magazines that it seems like Rachael Ray is on the cover of this month? What would happen to the ‘how many (insert your own person group or enemy here) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Folks, I am appealing to you to because this (just like a burnt out light bulb) needs to be changed. Is it really important that the light bulb is completely energy inefficient? Well, maybe, so let’s just ignore the fact that I brought that up. Is it time that we replace technology that has practically remained unchanged since the days of Edison? OK, again, probably not the best point to be arguing. Now you know why I did so poorly on my high school debate team. So bad in fact that I can’t even argue that point. Get it? Argue? Debate? Seriously folks, these are the jokes. It’s not a warm up. This is as good as it gets. Please remember to tip your waitress.

We cannot live in the dark. We need light in our lives. The mere fact that our leaders would even consider doing away with the light bulb is a shocking, scary thought. I am using this blog of mine to shed more light (hehehehehehe) on this very important matter. You need to write your local member of congress and urge them to stop the phasing out of the light bulb. We really don’t need to take such a dramatic step backwards. The mere fact that I even need to be writing about this issue shows what is wrong with our society today.

Oh wait, you mean they are only phasing out the incandescent light bulb in favor of more efficient kinds of lighting? Um, oops. How did I miss that little detail. Man, that kind of changes the story a little bit doesn’t it. Well then, please ignore everything you have just read. Wow, I feel like such a, uh ‘dim’ wit…

****I must post this disclaimer saying that if this is your first time to my blog, the posts usually aren’t this bad. Well, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Sundays aren’t too great, but I usually scrap something decent together on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Well, when I bother to post on Saturdays. OK, here’s the deal: if you come back, I promise the next post will be better. Slightly better. How about no worse than today’s. That’s fair, right?****