Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Last Year (I actually think I may have learned something…nah!)

Well, I had my stroke just over a year ago and wanted to list a few things that I learned from it.  I am way off of my New Year’s resolution of writing a lot more often.  In fact this is the first time I’ve written in 2011.  I was going to tell you about the character I had thought of my novel…it’s the Piobster.  A half pig-half lobster boy, but I’ll save that for another time…or never. You can decide that.  I thought of telling you about my Dick Van Dyke obsession…which I may actually talk about some day.  But I’m listing or wandering or…stalling (that’s the word I was looking for).  Since the stroke, I often forget what word I am looking for.  Except for “bacon,” that one seems to come to mind quite easily!

So in the last year as I was trying to 1. accept the fact I had a stroke and 2. rehab from it, here are the things I learned…

  1. After having to wait 3 days to eat…hospital food actually tastes pretty nice.
  2. I may have lost my sense of right or wrong while in the hospital because I said hospital food is pretty nice!
  3. I couldn’t speak for the first week after the stroke so I could only grunt.  The grunt of “I need to go to the bathroom” and “I want a drink” was identical – I blame myself for that one.
  4. I could not move the right side of my face.  When looking in a mirror it was reversed, so that took some getting used to!
  5. When I moved to the rehab center for a week I got my favorite burritos from San Bernardino – except I couldn’t eat them without making a mess.
  6. When I came home, my right arm would be sitting in my food and I had no idea it was happening.
  7. When I made coffee, I would spill at least one cup every few days and coffee ain’t cheap!  Plus I would tilt my cup to dangerous level…until someone reminded me that I was going to be watering the carpet!
  8. To show how die-hard of a fan of coffee I was I had to drink it from a straw – but for some reason I didn’t take pictures of that.
  9. For a while, I had a cane.  That was pretty sweet!
  10. Then in March we went to see my brother and his family.  One day I asked to drive one of his ATV’s – that went badly.  My right hand was stuck on the throttle and despite my brother’s insistence that I take the hand off (in expletive laden form) I didn’t.  I could have, but I was a deer in headlights and just froze.  So, I hit a tree on his property going about 20mph.  When I hit it, I popped up and then blacked out momentarily.  Blood was pouring from my head and I had some pretty nice bruises.  But all ended well because my brother got a new ATV out of it.
  11. To use the computer for the first month, I had to place the mouse on the left side of the desk and use it with the left hand.  Man, you left-handers have it tough!  Well actually that’s probably the only way you know how to a mouse and you’ve discovered it works just fine.
  12. I still have a problem with my girls’ names….that’s not that funny.  Although the one and a half year old is going think that her name is: her two sisters names, plus “that’s not right…”

So, there are a few things I have learned.  I hope you found it helpful.  You probably didn’t but that’s my entry to today!

*as a stroke survivor I find the photo up there to be funny.  Plus it has a Sesame Street character!!


LesleyG said...

You are definitely still funny!

The ATV bit may not have been the finest moment, but other than that I'm always in awe of your progress and your attitude. I think of it often, in fact, when I need a kick in the arse.

Michael C said...

Thanks Lesley!! When I need a kick in the arse I just ask my kids to kick me... :)

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh Michael, I'm just sofa king happy you survived that stroke! And the ATV accident. Sheesh!!!

Hospital food is good when you've been starving for three days. I could never be a lefty! They do have it rough!

I definitely need to know more about this Piobster character. Because you cannot go wrong with bacon & lobster!

PS: The fact that you can still write at all is amazing. And, you are still one of the funniest writers around!

Lemon Stand said...

Ditto Meleah (as usual) :) We have three lefties and four righties in our family. I have had three members of my family have a stroke... they still didn't right (or was that write? I forget) any where near as good as you (they also weren't as good looking but if you ever tell anyone I said that I'll swear you are lying!) They certainly didn't gain a sense of humor in the aftermath, although honesty makes me admit they all had their major strengths in other areas anyway (it was really frustrating to still not be able to be out do them). (Riding an ATV was not one of those strengths... just in case you were wondering)

And may I say that red fur definitely adds to your charm? :P

Anonymous said...

I too am a leftist! I trust that you are continuing your way to full recovery.

Odat said...

Glad to see you're still around! You've still got it tho! Your, humor, that is...

I was in the hospital for a few days and couldn't eat as well...the first thing they gave me was jello and it tasted like filet mignon!!

Stay well..


Patti said...

I imagine that cheese comes to mind fairly quickly as well. Who could forget about cheese?

I'm so happy you are doing well and that you not only survived a stroke but an ATV accident!

You are definitely still a funny guy. And I always enjoy reading your words.

I have not been in the blogosphere lately. I'm glad you linked to FB!

cialis online said...

I want to do the same but the problem is that when I sit in front of my pc. I do different things instead of adding content to my blog.