It's Flitch Day!!

I know none of you know what that means, but I'll tell you (in due time). First, this is the first blog post I've written in 6 ½ months. Since my stroke...I don't know if it will be funny, but I need to train my mind to write again. It's kinda like physical therapy , except it's for the mind...and you will be my guinea pigs.

I could write a lot... Me crashing 25 miles an hour on my brother's quad into a tree (proving I could ride it just 2 months after my stroke), my newfound fascination with Sesame Street, how long it takes me to write something, or how I can't work or drive... but that's all boring. So I will write about Flitch Day.

You're probably thinking that Flitch is a funny twitch, or a light switch (if you have a lisp). Flitch Day, is (are you ready)... a measurement in BACON. That's right, a measurement done with bacon. I guess you couldn't find a more fitting topic for me to start writing again. Wikipedia defines it as: a side of salted and cured pork. An entire side, like half of a pig. Wikipedia continues: The awarding of a flitch of bacon to married couples who can swear to not having regretted their marriage for a year and a day is an old tradition, the remnants of which still survive in some pockets in England.

We are owed 12 flitches, I think. Well, I probably should check with my wife. I can tell you that it's going to join my lexicon of daily definitions! Right next to “knock on laminate” and “I want to go to there.” In fact I have added flitch to my Word dictionary. It's bothered me since I started typing this how flitches would end up on my computer with a red line under it. Not any more!!

In fact, I think I will have a flitch for dinner. Maybe in a hamburger or maybe on it's own. Perhaps smoky or cured with maple syrup. But, it's too hot to toil over bacon in my kitchen and it would be a fire hazard to cook a flitch on the grill. Wait I've got it...I'll order flitch from a restaurant.  That way we would use someone else's flichten AC!!!!!