Pre Holiday Repost: What’s That Growing In Your Desk?

Since everyone is probably getting ready for the big July 4th celebrations tomorrow, I figured I'd repost. I'm hoping that since the majority of you won't be at your desk tomorrow, you'll be able to stomach this story. And I am so sorry for those that have to be at their desks. Really, I am. I mean it. I've never been more sincere...

I read in an Arizona Daily Star story a week or so ago that our desks at work can actually have more bacteria than our bathrooms at work. Obviously the study didn’t take into account what our customers and clients do to our places of relievement. I’ll spare you those details though. According to the story, Clorox commissioned the report. How convenient, I say.

The study showed that a woman’s desk is more likely to be worse than their male counterparts because of their more frequent interaction with children and the fact that they keep food and makeup at their workstations. Fortunately for us, Female Coworker purchased a case or so of mini Purell hand sanitizer. And of course all the men in the office use it all the time (since you can’t see me, I feel compelled to inform you that I’m winking right now…).

I guess discovering that our desks are breeding grounds for things that would make us gag was inevitable. Although I’m sure it’s not as bad as when all of those investigative reporters decide it’s time to hold a black light up to a motel bed. When you realize that we spend most of our waking moments at our desks, it all makes sense. We come to work with colds and cough and sneeze in the vicinity (which means all over) our work equipment like phones, keyboards, computer mouse, post-it notes, coffee mugs and PEZ dispensers. We shake hands with clients or are handed things to us by our coworkers who may be sicker or dirtier than we are. I suppose it’s possible that we engage in more germ transference than snotty nosed young children do. Obviously we have cleaning crews that come through every night, but I don’t think they are expected to double as HAZMAT officials.

Speaking of dirty things, although it’s a little unrelated, the work gang and I witnessed something interesting at lunch today. We went to one of our favorite little chicken places specializing in chicken burritos, tacos, combo plates and chicken food sculptures. While there, we realized we were sitting across from a food inspector. It was her thermometer that gave her away, well that and the fact that she was sitting by herself filling out a lot of paperwork and not eating. Male coworker #3 observed her in a somewhat heated argument with the proprietors, at which point she walked out to her car quickly to get more paperwork. Here’s a tip: a great way to lose weight is to be eating at a restaurant when the health inspector leaves quickly and visibly upset. Male coworker shouted across the parking lot to her as we were leaving to ask what the restaurant’s score was and she could only give us what we interpreted to be a dirty look and yelled that we could find it on the county website. For some reason, I’ll just let my imagination assume what their score was.

While I feel comfortable in stating that I do not have toxic mold growing in my desk, my top left hand drawer may be a breeding ground for something. If you open it up and move all of the CDs out of the way you will find several varieties of tea and hot chocolate, candy canes that must be 3 years old by my estimation, every flavor of PEZ refills ever made. I could probably run a general store out of that one drawer alone.

There is also a substance in there that vaguely resembles algae. Hey, no wonder I sneeze every time I open that drawer. I wonder how I’m going to clean that out though. Oh yeah, that’s right, I can use Clorox Wipes. Gee, thank you Clorox for sponsoring such a groundbreaking study. Who knew that when you decided to commission research about how dirty our desks are that we’d actually find a need and desire to use wipes to sanitize them.