Things I Learned This Week: 7/14/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 7/8/07-7/14/07.

! I learned that using a bounce house in the summer heat is far more effective than a sauna. Just make sure you don’t slip on the self-made puddles while bouncing…

! I learned that I actually have the attention span to use a slinky on the stairs for 2 straight hours. Why can’t I put that type of dedication into work? Oh, that’s right – slinky = fun, while work = 14th lower level of hell.

! I learned that when you wake up at 8:30 in the morning and it is already over 80 degrees, it is going to be a miserably hot day. This is the time to seek out a relative, friend or store that doesn’t mind turning their AC on full blast.

! I learned that my coworkers and me should never, ever take Socially Oblivious Guy to lunch with us. This is especially true if there is even the slightest chance that the restaurant will have a young attractive waitress in a t-shirt.

! I learned that driving around with my boss is not the time to discuss my blog or where I may do my blogging. Subsequently, you may begin to notice me starting to post my writing at a slightly different time of day than I have been doing.

! I learned that no matter how excited I may personally be about the release of Hallmark’s 2007 Christmas Ornaments this weekend, not everyone shares that joy or wants to hear me go on and on about it. But seriously, they have this Christmas Story one that…oh sorry, I’m doing it again.

And lastly,

! I learned that even though it cracks me up every time I say it, my pregnant coworker doesn’t like me asking her every morning if she would like some ice cream with a pickle on top. The same goes for my recent 12-minute dissertation about how she shouldn’t feel sick in the afternoon because it’s called morning sickness, not afternoon sickness.