You Make A Better Pin Cushion Than A Window

If I talked to my cubicle’s walls, that is exactly what I would say. They are made of pincushiony material that you can easily pin a photo to, but they aren’t very transparent, though if they were, I’d just see out into a hallway and then would probably want my walls back. Bottom line: I ain’t got no windows. Well, that’s not actually the bottom line, that’s my complaint. The bottom line is that I want windows, or just one window. Una window, onlyamente singularo windowrino. Yes, I did major in Spanish, why do you ask? Heck, even a porthole would do. Really, anything larger than a peephole would be quite satisfactory.

It came up while conversing with Eva the other day that her office has windows and I know of other bloggers who have windows. I’m not normally envious, but knowing that some of you have windows really causes me a lot of pane. Get it, window pane instead of pain? Yes, I’m using lame humor to mask my sadness. They say it's the worst and final stage of window grief. Would I be a better worker if I had windows? Would I be a more productive worker if I had windows? Would I be a more gruntled worker instead of such a disgruntled worker? Actually, the answer to all of those is probably still no; especially since I am easily distracted and just watching a leaf blow by is enough to stop me from my current task, but all the dramatic questions sounded good.

As I examined the current confines of my workspace and the building in which it is caged housed, one thing became painfully obvious. I will never have a window while working there. I once put up a stick of bamboo near my cube’s doorway to fill my work area with the intoxicating ideals of the tropics, but someone mistook it for trash and threw it away. I then brought in some flamingo party beads that I found on clearance at Christmastime at Kohl’s, but that only invited my coworkers’ taunts, so I took them down. And speaking of Christmastime (because I haven’t knocked out a good segue in a while), I’ve got that covered. Seriously, do you know how many little tabletop artificial trees $10 bucks will buy you at the local dollar store? Ironically, it buys 10. When they are put atop all the filing cabinets lining the outside walls of our cubicles, it creates a wonderfully foresty atmosphere. So much so that you almost forget you don’t have a window. For some reason though, our company forbids holiday decorating until after Thanksgiving and mandates that we undecorate or de-decorate or possibly dis-decorate as soon as we get back from the Christmas holiday, so we really only have about 4 weeks to not miss our windows.

I have finally come up with a solution to my window crisis though and the good news is that you, yes you, can help. I am asking you to photograph your office window or home window or neighbor’s window or airplane window or boat window or hotel window or cabana on Maui window or car window and email it to me. Basically, if you can see out of it, I want to see it. What am I going to do with that photo? I am going to post it on the cubicle wall seen up there to the left of this post (which is my cubicle wall, by the way. With the exception of Lucy and Ethel's drawings, can't you see how sad and depressing it is, all monochromatic and with no flair - whoa, way too much HGTV coming through there, sorry) and change them out each week. Yep, I am going to have a revolving window of the week.

What will you get out of it? Well, not money, so you can tune out now if you want and I will understand. But, I WILL take a picture of your picture of a window on my cubicle wall and feature it prominently on my blog. It’s like an almost endless circle of pictures of windows. It’ll blow your mind, man. And unlike most gimmicks stunts ingeniously thought out ideas I’ve tried, I’d like to continue this one far beyond my normal customary week or so. Seriously folks, I want a window or scenery to put up every week that I can look out of and pretend (in my own special little way) that my office has a fancy window.

If you are so inclined, please send me your best window shot and I will pick my first window of the week for my cubicle on Monday. You will bring joy to my work life and I will accidentally contribute to killing a tree when I print it. Hmmm, that last one isn’t really a big benefit to anyone. We’ll just focus on bringing joy to my work life and who knows; maybe we’ll have lovely conversations about the things that can be seen out of your window. Oops, I mean OUR window. That’s the part where the whole cast would laugh right before the credits roll. If there was cast. Or the joke was funny…

Many thanks in advance!!!