Things I Learned This Week: 9/2/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. Yes, I realize it's Sunday, but I really don't need any heckling today. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier.

! I learned that while soon-to-be five year olds can be taught how to shell a peanut, they do not yet possess the discipline to shell them over the bowl I asked them to. Perhaps it’s my fault for placing the bowl on the floor in front of the TV, but hey, the Wiggles were on!

! I learned that when going to a NASCAR event and I know beforehand that it is going to be 110 degrees and my only clean Dale Jr. T-shirt is black, I probably should forgo displaying my support of my favorite driver. That combined with greasy sun tan lotion creates a sensation on my skin that I am choosing to refer to as 5 kinds of funk.

! I learned that while it is perfectly acceptable to yell rude things at Jeff Gordon while at the racetrack, I should check who is sitting around me prior to beginning my tirades. As a tip, I can tell you that two things to look for are 1. Small children and 2. Big men wearing Jeff Gordon apparel.

! I learned that BBQ’ing in 110 degree heat is just stupid. I also learned that when I’ll be out in such heat and sun, I need to make sure that I apply lotion to the tops of my feet when wearing sandals. I hope my boss will understand that sunburned feet tops are a legitimate ailment and that he will be accommodating when I show up to work on Tuesday wearing slacks, shirt, tie and sandals.

! I learned that giving Lucy and Ethel Play-Doh near carpeted surfaces will not go down in history as one of my top parenting moments. And to think I thought I had averted disaster by telling them ‘now you be careful with this stuff.’ Go figure…

! I learned that despite all my fooling around at work, I had the best stats of anyone in my office this past week. While I have no idea how that happened and certainly cannot give myself the credit, I made the mistake of telling my coworkers about this. Perhaps that is why my cubicle was under constant Nerf Gun attack for the remainder of the week.

And lastly,

! I learned that just because I am having a special evening out with only one of the twins, I don’t need to order $40 dollars worth of appetizers, drinks, dessert and entrees. This is especially true given the fact that Ethel probably only ate $7.50 worth.

*****Q & A Tuesday is coming up and I can't provide the A's if I don't have any Q's. So, if there is anything you want to ask me, anything I can help you with, or if you seek solutions to any of life's problems and mysteries, feel free to ask away!!*****