Q & A Day…Because It’s Not Tuesday

Welcome to my weekly Q & A. I was worried about being low on questions and everyone bailed me out, so thank you! For some reason I’m feeling pretty blogdrained this week so I’ll just get right to the answers before I go lazy and repost…again. Oh, first I need to review the rules. Don’t quote, reference at your own risk, The Carpenters are still cool, I don’t spell check and yes, I will probably forget someone’s question…again. Remember, bonus points are awarded for spotting the Tina Fey and That’s What She Said weekly references. And here we go…

First up this week is Airam, who had quite a streak for a few days of being the first commenter here. She asked ‘When did you discover your love of music such as Barry Manilow and Rod Stewart? Do you like other kinds of music?’
Well, I think I discovered my love, which is a strong word, so I’ll say appreciate of that type of music (Captain and Tennille, Carpenters, Helen Reddy, etc.) growing up. I can remember taking car trips with the folks and that’s what they played. I just never stopped liking it. Yes, I do like other types of music. I like the Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bobby Darin type stuff, The Beach Boys and other oldies, pretty much all country 1995 and before, folk music, Motown, 60s Lounge Music (The Ultra-Lounge set of like 3 trillion cds is great) and even some disco. I also like bluegrass and polka. Ok, I’m lying about one of those last 2. I thought about liking Salsa just to sound cool, but I couldn’t get into it. I am also pretty sure that the James Bond theme songs fall into some category…

Ralph posed a question that is exciting for me, but I may lose a few of you. I promise I’ll try to keep it brief. He asked ‘NASCAR Q&A: Do you think F1 or IRL drivers like Montoya and Franchitti are good for NASCAR and the Nextel Cup?’
I do, provided they aren’t using it as a last resort like I know Jacques Villeneuve is. Besides, whatever driver can bring Ashley Judd (Franchitti’s wife) to NASCAR is fine with me. Now, if we could only get Danica Patrick a Cup ride!! It’s all a moot point really. Dale Earnhardt Jr. is going to wipe the speedy dry with everyone next year anyway!

Frigga submitted two questions this week. That was awfully nice of her.
1. Do you like green eggs & ham? How about with cheese & jam?
I do, in a stew, that is not blue. Yes, I’m through. I have had green eggs and ham (and spam) after the pan was sprayed with Pam and once I got over the fact that the eggs were not moldy, or oldy, I was fine with it.
My favorite Green Eggs and Ham moment? The Reverend Jesse Jackson’s recital of it on SNL. I cry when I watch it. Tears of green. Of course
I have never had cheese and jam. Well, not together. Food wise, they really aren’t birds of a feather. Jam is OK, but cheese rules the day.

2. Also, what would be your dream car?
James Bond’s original Aston Martin. I mean it had a passenger’s ejection seat. Need I say more?

Patti helped me out with a few questions. Thanks Patti!
‘When you have a plate of food, i.e., a balanced meal, do you consume all of the meat portion before you go on to the potatoes, and all of the potatoes before you consume the vegetables? Or do you take a bit of each as you go?’
I never eat balanced meals. I’m not a veggie guy and fruit just gets in the way. I always save my favorite food on the plate until last. Like the fried chicken skin, the meat from any dish or the tail of the shrimp. Yeah, I made that last one up. This is a long post and I wanted to make sure you were paying attention.

‘Does your mother read your blog?’
No, at least she hasn’t critiqued it yet, so I am assuming not. I kid, I kid. I know my Dad does and many real life friends do though (hi guys!!).

Wolf is a newcomer to the blog and you gotta like this question!
‘If you have two M&Ms in your hand, and you eat one, what's left? An M&M? Or just an M?’
I think it’s still an M&M, but not the plural, M&Ms. Unless it’s the yellow one. That one doesn’t really count; so then you would have a mere handout or a ‘filler,’ if you will. That one may wear the brand of the M&M, but don’t let it fool you. I discredit its existence completely. I realize I am being rough, but we were all thinking it. Right?

My Bestest Blogging Buddy Odat asked ‘My second question:What assumptions do people make about you that are totally wrong?’
My first thought of course is ‘oh crap, what was her first question??’ Probably the biggest assumption is that I am lazy or not a hard worker. That assumption simply is not true, because sometimes (like right before payday, for instance) I can work really, really hard. I mean for like 3 straight hours! I also recently found out that because of what I write and how I write, my voice was believed to me pipsqueakish like Jeff Gordon (although to protect my friendship, I will not name the accuser – hehehehe). Thank the maker that assumption is wrong too.

James Burnett paid a visit to ask me (and I figured this one would come around sooner or later) ‘Is there no God? Wait. Let me rephrase that. Why is Britney Spears rich?’
She is rich because little girls have lots of influence and talked their parents into buying her music and anything else with her name on it. I have discovered in my research that she also has breasts, which tend to be easily seen. I am pretty sure this has contributed too.

And Kat made the deadline this week (YAY) for her 3 Qs.
1. How many books do you own and do you have a bookcase at home in which to store your books. If so, how do you organize them?
I own a bunch. A few comedy books, many, many American history/biography ones and other odds and ends, like one of my favorites, ‘The Secret Life Of Lobsters.’ I do not yet possess a bookshelf for them. I will one day so that people will see my book collection and assume that I am much smarter than I am. Or assume that I put those books there because I wanted them to think I’m smarter than I am. But the joke would be on them because I am smarter than they think I am because I actually read the books. I will also put a bust on my bookcase shelf that tilts back to reveal a toggle switch that opens the Bat Cave. Does Home Depot still install Bat Caves by the way?

2. What is the one school lunch you still miss to this day?
I honestly can’t remember. But I do recall taking lunch to school in my Dukes of Hazzard Lunch box. To a boy growing up, nothing was cooler than the Duke boys! Or maybe Atari. Or perhaps my Members Only jacket. OK, I'm going to stop while I'm ahead.

3. How do you feel about stripes making their way back onto today’s tube socks? We had all white socks happening for a while and now it seems like the stripe has made a return. What is your opinion on this and have you succumbed to the new (old) fashion?
This question confirms what I have feared for sometime. I had no idea stripes were back and that makes me so out of touch culturally. But striped tubes definitely remind me of my childhood! I am all in favor of it. Or is it them? Though I try to wear socks and shoes as little as possible (like at work, which didn’t go so well), I embrace the return to the classics. Red and blue, blue and yellow, I don’t care. Bring it on! Or put them on!

The amazingly thin Lis (that will make sense when you visit her blog) asked ‘if the world's going to end tomorrow and you get to watch one movie before you join the choir invisible, which one will it be?’
Oh boy. I’ll stick with ‘So I Married An Axe Murderer.’ It’s got suspense, humor, love, betrayal and…well, I don’t want to give the rest of the plot away.

My Best Bud’s Wife asked ‘Where are my keys?’
Did you check under the trampoline, in the pumpkin patch or in the ice cream maker? Did my future son-in-law put them in his big sister’s room? Can’t I be so much more insightful because I know you guys so well? What if they have been there all along but because of life’s trials and tribulations, you weren’t able to see them? Yeah, that’s just too Jedi, huh?

AndreAnna has got to be one of my favorite people on our fast spinning globe and I have been kind enough to forget her question for at least the last 3 weeks. In a way, this week is not much different. While I can’t find the exact wording of her question, I will write the general idea. Then I will go out back, grab the garden hose and flog myself (TWSS) as punishment. AA asked kind of, somewhat paraphrased, ‘if there is anything you could change about your life (or was it your past?) what would it be?’
Regrets, yeah, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention. Ok, sorry. I absolutely could not resist doing that. I might have stayed much longer doing PR for the FOX Network instead of leaving there within a year. It was my first job after college. I also might not have given up my freelance PR/Copywriting business when I found out I was going to be the father of twins. I miss that work daily. Lastly AA, I would never, ever have called Fondue ‘Fundue’ in your presence. I have other regrets, but I’ll keep’em close to the vest for now.

Last up this week (because today is a special day for her), we have The Exception with 3 great questions.
1. What is your ideal woman?
Is there where I work in the words Tina Fey this week? OK, to be serious, I have to say that humor and intelligence are really, really important. As are a caring personality, great companionship, and...a full understanding of NASCAR.

2. Do you have any thoughts as to what each of your daughters might be, professionally, when they are adults? (Sometimes, as parents, we speculate, teachers speculate, etc)
I could see Lucy teaching because of the wonderful (albeit bossy) way she tends to mother Ethel and myself. I can see Ethel doing something related to art. She is very artistic at this age and it amazes me. There is also a good chance they could end up as background dancers in a music video. They will turn 5 in 2 weeks and their moves kinda scare me at this point.

3. If you did not live in CA, where would you live?
I want to live in New England…and not because that’s the subject of a Barry Manilow song. There is just a dream like pull it has on me. Can I describe that mystery pull? Well, I can try. It’s dark reddish (before being steamed), a few pounds in weight and has two claws…


There ya go. Thanks for waiting an extra day and for reading through to the end. If I did accidentally forget your question, please contact me so that I can provide you the mailing address of my employer so that you can explain to them that I need a day off each week to devote to Q & A Tuesdays. Your assistance is greatly appreciated in advance.