Don’t Worry, It’s OK To Be Late Today

It’s been a while since I devoted some blog time to useless holidays and I know I always say each new holiday is greater than the last, but this time it’s really true. I was tempted to wait a few days to post this in honor of the holiday, but then you would all miss out on getting to celebrate ‘Be Late For Something Day.’

Now I regularly celebrate this holiday, except I didn’t know it was a holiday. I should have suspected there was one, but sometimes I just don’t dare to dream big enough. Note to self: start hoping for a holiday that honors deep fried foods and for a ‘take a stunning super model (or Tina Fey) to work day.’ Ok, a ‘treat Michael like a King at work day’ would be pretty cool too, you know, as long as I am dreaming and all. Oh, and a ‘get paid quite lucratively for blogging day’ would certainly be welcome as would a ‘that’s what she said day’ where everyone is free to say ‘TWSS’ as many times as they want, even when it isn’t appropriate without fear of retribution or an HR investigation. On that day, we’d be free to do it over and over and over again (TWSS). I mean I’m sitting here listing holidays I could only dream about so I might as well list them all, right? Oops, forgot ‘work from the beach day’ and ‘no work because I have twins day.’ I swear I’m done now. This post is supposed to be about ‘Be Late For Something Day,’ so I should really start focusing on that, but hey, better late than never, right. Sorry, it just seemed so appropriate.

Since I was out late Tuesday night, it was inevitable that I’d be late this morning. I guess you can say that late begets late. Or late to sleep, late to rise. Or, I really don’t care what time I have to be to work tomorrow, I’m busy tonight. No matter how you cut it, I will be celebrating ‘It’s OK To Be Late Today’ in grand fashion. Let’s see, if I am expected at work around 8:30, I will arrive today no earlier than 9:30. As soon as I enter the office, I will make sure to wish everyone a happy ‘It’s OK To Be Late Today’ just so they know that my lateness is for a good reason, as opposed to the usual reason, which is because I was blogging, eating, sleeping or ironing something to wear at the last minute. Sometimes I also forget I need to go to work, but that is just a mental block that my doctors assure me can be overcome with medicine.

Let’s just hope not EVERYONE celebrates today. There are some professionals that need to be on time today. I am speaking of people like emergency room doctors, law enforcement, ambulance drivers and other emergency responders, as well as donut shop owners and the guy that owns the Mexican restaurant across from the office. Let’s face it, there are just times when someone’s tardiness has far-reaching consequences, such as not having a full allotment of chips and salsa prepared before we take lunch at 11:30AM. I guess I should also add air traffic controllers to this list. Still, not as important as the chip dude. But then I’m not flying today. Others may disagree with me, but they haven’t tried said chips, salsa and nachos. For if they had, they too would agree that chip dude serves a far more important duty than our nation’s air traffic people…sorry, no offense, but you HAVE to try these chips!

I prefer to think of lateness/tardiness/not being on time as a frame of mind. After all, if no one points out that you are late, are you then in fact actually late? If you just slip in through the back door unnoticed and immediately assume your daily duties without stopping for coffee, that morning pick me up candy bar or to chat with everyone you encounter, are you really late, especially if your boss doesn’t see you? I choose to say no. But then I also chose to like New Coke back in the 80s, and we all know how that turned out. I also chose to give my allegiance to BetaMax instead of VHS and I liked George Lazenby as James Bond, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Well, I should go now. I need to set my alarm and all of my clocks back 45 minutes. Really, how embarrassing would it be to arrive on time (or dare I say early) on ‘It’s OK To Be Late Today’ Day. I’d never live it down…