399 More Than I Ever Planned On

This is my 400th post. Gheesh that’s a lot. Perhaps too many. I came across this realization Saturday as I wrote about how my twins see shapes in their dog’s ‘eliminations.’ Perhaps I have covered all the writeable territory there is. I have already tackled some of life’s most important topics like cheese, Kenny Rogers, the Office and the angel that is one Ms. Tina Fey. I’ve waxed poetic about lobster, Las Vegas and bounce houses. I’ve shared things that I’ve learned and fielded questions from my favorite visitors. I’ve angered written about my coworkers and professed my lust fine appreciation of grilled meats. I think I have also admitted to liking the Bee Gees, quite possibly more than once. It’s all been fun, but maybe, just maybe there is more to it all.

So, I have turned a corner. I am now going to write about important things. I mean I know that cheese is important, but when I talk about it, certain people’s eyes tend to glaze over. I’m talking about real serious things here like Medicare, Politics, Religion, Finance, Global Warming (I mean it was really hot here today) and the escalating price of a drink at Starbucks. These are the issues that concern us and define us as a people. I have a lot to say about these things and cannot hold my tongue or excitement at the idea of writing about them any longer.

So, I shall begin with this post. Today’s topic will be about the proliferation of the internet in attracting volunteers to political campaigns. Ok, you know what; I can’t do this with a straight face. I’ve tried to sit at the big table, but always feel more at ease at the kid’s table. I’ve tried to sip fine wine, but always come back to soda.

Perhaps I should celebrate #400 just as if it were post #287. I have no idea what I wrote about for #287, but it probably mentioned me getting in trouble…at work….or with the twins…or at a local restaurant...well, you get the point. It may have also mentioned Fred Willard. The man is a genius. I could tell you that today is Kenny Rogers’ birthday. I listened to him all day long, much to the chagrin of my coworkers. I’m sure they would not have been as violently angry with me if I had turned it down a little, but it’s The Gambler’s birthday! I’m not sure how old he is, but he doesn’t look a day over…oh let’s say an artificial 55. Why, he looks just as good as Burt Reynolds does. I think any public picture of each of those men should contain a disclaimer that reads something like ‘butchered professionals on a closed course…do not try this at home.’ But that’s just me.

I could write about the miracle that is cargo pants and shorts. With pockets everywhere, it’s like having a purse strategically attached to your clothing. Seriously, I don’t even carry a wallet anymore. Granted I have to fumble around through four different pockets to find anything, but it beats having a hunk of leather slapped to my rear (that’s what she said). It would not be out of the ordinary to write about how I sound like an American Idol finalist when I sing out loud with the music but when I sing around the office without it, I am actually booed.

The idea of an amusement park named Kitchenland seemed to go well. I probably should devote some time to that. Magic Kingdom? No, Magic Kitchen! Blogworthy moments with my twins are always easy to do. For example, when Ethel accidentally flipped me off last night while showing me her cut middle finger, I sprinted to find my digital camera to catch the moment. In hindsight, it might be a good thing that she wouldn’t show me again once I found it.

An interesting topic might be how quickly the human body can be propelled from a treadmill. Not that I’d know or anything. Not that I learned this lesson personally last night when I tried running on the treadmill momentarily without holding on to anything. Nope, I have no clue about the velocity of mankind when launched from such exercise devices. None at all…