What A Loss

No, I’m not talking about politics or Hillary. That just makes people angry. Before I go any further, I need to warn you that what you are about to read is very sad, it’s beyond sad, it’s ‘Shitacular’ actually. It’s that rare mix of horrible and awe-inspiring rolled up into a big ball of cookie dough that you can’t help but taste even though you know the raw eggs are going to make you sicker than a visit to the nursery at the local preschool. That’s my definition of ‘shitacular,’ by the way. It just popped out of my mouth during a meeting at work and it seemed to be well received. But anyway, this post is going to sadden and possibly depress you, so if you need to read it at a later time like when you are so happy that nothing could bring you crashing back down to earth or after you go grab a box of facial cleaning wipes, or just tissue, please feel free.

What I am about to tell you (more like break softly to you) was covered by some media outlets over the weekend, so you may already know about it. In fact, one of my favorite bloggers even sent me a link to one of the stories. On Friday the James Hook & Co. seafood business in Boston caught fire and burned to the ground, which was actually water because it’s a waterfront business. So, it burned to the water, which is odd considering that water actually beats fire in the old ‘rocks, paper, water, fire game.’ And speaking of fire, there was also one at Universal Studios over the weekend, but you can rest easily because Wysteria Lane was not damaged. Neither were The Beav’s house or The Munster’s place. Yep, they are all on the same street. Goodness, what would June Cleaver think of the goings on in her digs nowadays…

But Wysteria Lane pales in comparison to the fire in Boston. It is always sad when a longtime business has to close its doors for a while, but something else went up in smoke with the James Hook & Co. building. Ok, actually it steamed and then went up in smoke. 60,000 pounds of lobster perished in the fire. If you love lobster like me (I actually read a book 2 summers ago called the ‘Secret Life of Lobsters’ and highly recommend it), go ahead and cry a good hard cry. I’m getting all Saddy Sadderson and my eyes are welling up again as I try to type this. If they were all one pound lobsters, that’s 600 lobsters that were lost. Wait, I don’t think I did my math right again. I really do need to stop using numbers in my posts. It’s not that I feel bad for the lobsters, let’s face it, they were pretty much heading for the scalding hot ending anyway. And this is where I have to say that there had to have been a few minutes while the building’s fire was the best smelling fire in the history of fires. Although I bet the hissing and whining sound of 60,000 pounds of lobster steaming was deafening! Or, that may have just been my cross-continental crying…

I feel bad for the company losing out on the sales of 60,000 pounds of lobster and even more, I feel bad for the people that won’t get to taste the delicious meat that comes from the clawed creature that is related to the bugs we try to eschew (or not chew – guzundheit). I’ve seen that lobstering show on the Discovery Channel and I can tell you that’s it’s no small claw feat to catch 60,000 pounds of lobster. If we lost 60,000 barrels of oil, we’d probably end up paying $13.75 per gallon, so let’s hope that the loss of lobster (also referred to in the business as LOL, even though there is nothing laughable about that. OK, I made that up. I couldn’t resist. It made me LOL. Go figure) doesn’t increase the price of the culinary crustacean to a point where we can’t afford to have it on our tables every night, you know because they are so affordable already. Although, the angels employees at Trader Joes offer up a lobster ravioli at the very reasonable price (this is where I am using my wannabe commercial guy voice) of $2.99 a bag.

It’s all just so sad. What a waste of such a precious commodity. I wonder if this is how ants feel when Lucy and Ethel spill part of their daily afternoon popsicle on the patio and then we spray it off with the hose. Because let me tell you, if that is how ants feel, I am making a pledge right here and now to never spray food bits off the patio again. Well, until I see too many ants on the patio. But don’t fault me, that’s just human nature.

There is a remedy to all the sadness and loss and carnage though. If you remember, and I am hoping that you do, Wednesday is Cheese Day. And let me tell you, nothing dries up tears better than a nice thick slice of cheese. Of course I mean that in the most metaphorical of senses. Kleenex works best for the real thing. It’s pretty absorbent. And they make some that have nice patterns on it. Those are pretty AND absorbent, but then you feel guilty snotting over such a nice design. Hmmm, maybe I’ll blog about Kleenex tomorrow.