Time To Play…For Pay!!

I am excited to share with you that Thursday is Recess At Work Day. There is a really good chance, like over 100%, that I wrote about this last June, but I am going to resist the temptation to just repost that story. Although, I’d get bonus points for recycling and going green. As you may or may not be aware, I am not overly fond of having to eek out a living by being a cubicle dwelling, tie wearing, corporate crony. I guess that’s like me saying that you may or may not be aware that Britney Spears has some mental issues. I just like to state the obvious without appearing as though I am stating the obvious. For instance, when it is raining and we are all standing in it, I like to say that the chance for precipitation is very high. It’s a true fact and suggests the obvious without overtly stating it. I’ve got another one: I have the tendencies of an idiot. It’s like stating I’m an idiot without saying I’m an idiot. Now, I have drifted off course, which is odd given that fact that I planned on writing about playtime at work.

So back to the playtime thing. Isn’t recess at work a great idea? I most certainly should be done more than once a year, that’s for sure. Oh crap, I just stated the obvious in an obvious way, but we are talking about recess at work. I for one miss recess. Yes, it was my favorite time at school. I’m still not sure why it’s done away with by the time kids get to Junior High and High School. I’m not saying we needed swings on my high school campus or a sandbox (which would just have become a public litter box for all the strays in the neighborhood. I’m talking about cats, not people), but some break time longer than lunch or going from one class to the next would have been nice. I’m pretty sure if you go back to the original notes and drafts of the Declaration of Independence you will find a crossed out reference to recess being a fundamental and unalienable right. In fact, maybe if the Founding Fathers had kept that phrase in the Declaration, it would not have contained annoyingly big words like unalienable. My point: recess should be a lifelong daily observance, just like naps. Lucy and Ethel find it so hard to believe that a day will come when they will actually WANT to take naps. Recess in America should be like teatime in Britain or a pound of butter in a Paula Deen recipe. It just wouldn’t be the same without it.

At my office, we don’t have a lot of big, wide open ‘safe’ spaces in which to play and we have no grass. But, there is a small area out back where the smokers hang out that could easily accommodate recess. Now I realize that dodgeball or duck, duck goose would be the most obvious things to do during recess, but we are all grown ups and those games wouldn’t fly with a few in our office. For the record, I have no problem with it. After all, my job is stressful and what would relieve that stress more than intentionally getting to throw an over inflated ball directly at a coworker’s face?

I’m thinking our grown up workplace recess will require a hotdog vendor with his own cart and maybe a guy with a fondue cart and one with a snowcone machine. And yes, that is my plan for Lucy or Ethel’s backyard wedding when that time comes. Oh, and recess will require a cappuccino maker for the more ‘fancy’ and ‘mature’ people in my office who look down at us snowcone slurpers with disdain. I don’t mind giving them the cappuccino maker, because they are the ones I’ll be aiming for when we start dodgeball. Although, can THEY sue ME if I hit THEM with a ball while THEY are consuming a hot frothy beverage? I’d ask HR for some direction on this possibly contentious issue, but I fear they’d nix the whole thing as soon as I got to the part where I say ‘ok, imagine everyone out behind the office visiting and playing for 20-30 minutes each morning and afternoon…’

I used to regularly observe my own recess at work. I didn’t want to draw attention to it though so I didn’t call it ‘recess’ (remember that whole stating the obvious thing?). I called it ‘blogging.’ Then I got caught (or ‘sent to the principal’s office’) and had to stop. Now the closest thing I get to recess is when I plug in my Ipod’s headphones and hide under my desk for 30 minutes for so. No, I’m kidding. I only do that during fire and earthquake drills.

I am eagerly looking forward to tomorrow’s Recess At Work Day. I just can’t decide between hiring a bounce house or those big inflatable water slides with attached kiddy pool. It’s going to be hot again, so I’d better go with the water slide. But I swear that if during our recess the guy in the cubicle across from me asks me to deliver a love note to the woman in the cubicle next to me, I am going to charge him standard ground shipping rates if I miss my turn on the slide!