Things I Learned This Week: 3/11/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday (except for today, which I am choosing to chalk up to the early Daylight Savings Time this year). It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason, always makes me look pathetic. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 3/4/07-3/11/07.

! I learned that when one of the older fish in our tank appears to have difficulty swimming that I need to keep a close eye on it for the next several days so that I find it floating upside down before Lucy and Ethel do and start asking questions.

! I learned that I should make sure I charged Lucy and Ethel’s motorized trikes before getting them all excited about riding them outside.

! I learned that Toys R Us is the equivalent of a parental meat market. Though it was fun laughing at the parents who actually brought their children, which I believe qualifies as a form of masochism in certain cultures.

! I learned that it’s not a good idea to show up last (and late) to a big division wide staff meeting, especially when I forgot my suit coat and I live the closest to the main office.

! I learned that when the neighbors across the street are throwing a party catered by a professional BBQ company with a grill mounted to a trailer that is longer than my truck and I am not invited, it’s better to go our for the night than to be seduced by the smell of the smoke from the 4-5 hickory trees they must have been burning to cook the meat on.

! I learned that when female coworker offers to buy us lunch, it’s best to make fun of her after she has paid. This is especially true when I ordered the large ‘lunch’ steak special.

And lastly,

! I learned that when at a fancy fundraising event for Lucy and Ethel’s preschool that I should not appear so eager to take food off of the appetizer plates as they are offered to me. I also learned that while the free gourmet coffee bar was a neat idea, having 5 cups late at night when we are about to lose an hour to Daylight Savings Time isn’t such a smart thing to do. It sure was a pretty sunrise this morning though!