Goofin’ Around

The morning DJ on the radio station I frequent proclaimed that today, March 22, is National Goof Off Day. A quick search on the internet seemed to lend credibility to the claim, so without further ado, I can say that I’m pretty sure today is National Goof Off Day. It seems that the day is intended for relaxing and doing things that you don’t normally get to do today. I’ll admit that’s kind of an ambiguous statement so I am contemplating scheduling a prostate exam since that is most certainly not something I would normally do today.

Judging by the amount of traffic on the way in to work this morning, I feel almost certain that National Goof Off Day is not sanctioned by the vast majority of Southern California employers. It obviously wasn’t being celebrated by the workforce, either. How is it that I can buy a calendar at the beginning of the year which lists every single foreign holiday that I will never get to take paid time off for but neglects including important American holidays like ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day,’ which we already observed, or National Goof Off Day? While we’re at it, today is William Shatner’s 76th birthday and I didn’t see that on any calendar. Believe me, before anyone got into work this morning I checked everyone’s calendars in the office and there were no mentions of today being a holiday.

It smacks of conspiracy. National Goof Off Day is being kept from us hard working Americans because if we knew about it, we would demand celebration of this holiday. By being kept from us, we all showed up at work today, and well, worked and went about our normal routines completely oblivious to the fact that we could have done nothing or anything else we wanted to today. The holiday is called National Goof Off Day, which gives the day official meaning and celebratory status. Had today been called Local Goof Off Day, County Goof Off Day, Municipal Goof Off Day or Goof Off Day That Can Only Be Celebrated In States That Start With Vowels, then we may not have a legal right to celebrate. However, that National tag means it’s real.

How should we celebrate today? Well, if you still happen to be at work while reading this, leave. Ok, finish reading this, leave a nice compliment that will give me the positive reinforcement to continue writing every day, save your work, lock your desk drawer with all of the candy in it, and then leave. If you are unfortunate enough (as I am) to be wearing a tie, take it off and put it around your head and run out of your workplace ala the opening credits of The Drew Carey Show while singing Eric Burden and The Animals’ ‘We Gotta Get Out Of This Place.’ I realize it’s not the most upbeat ditty for National Goof Off Day, but it does establish the appropriate attitude. Yes, you could also sing Johnny Paycheck’s ‘Take This Job And Shove It,’ (which I still want to make my cell phone ring tone, by the way) but it seems that so many people still resist country music. Once you are out of work you can pretty much do whatever you want. I have to admit that I can’t help thinking of Ferris Bueller while writing about all of this. Perhaps I should spend the remainder of the day singing ‘Twist and Shout or ‘Danke Schoen,’ though that might have a negative impact on my reputation in the office. Yeah, like that’s the only reason my co-workers have to be upset with me.

Ironically, half of my coworkers were nowhere to be found today. I even got in to work early (and by early, of course, I mean on time) but spent a lot of the morning alone since no one else came in early and half the staff was missing. That leads me to believe that someone in my office knew about National Goof Off Day, but as I already mentioned, I cannot find proof of that on anyone’s calendar. I’m fairly certain that I can rule out the horrible flu bug that is making its way through the office as a culprit though. Clearly, my coworkers are goofing off and no one took the time to tell me. Fortunately, my local radio personality alerted me to this important day. I am now left to wonder why I seem to have been excluded from my work mates’ National Goof Off Day festivities. Maybe I should stop blogging about them…

**This will be my last post until Saturday as I will be out of town celebrating National Goof Off Day. OK, the vacation had already been scheduled, but it feels so appropriate tying it in with this glorious holiday.