End Of The Week Randomocity

In lieu of actually thinking today, I present the following to you packaged as something that hopefully appears to have taken more thought and time than it really did. Although after rereading it, I think that eventuality is rather doubtful.

* Is the Flowbee considered an antique yet? I ask because I can’t find one. Yes, I’ve been looking. I’m all for self-induced haircuts. I want a haircut, I own a vacuum, what could be better?

* Turns out that if a flight leaves Dallas and another flight leaves Waco at the same time, it really won’t matter which one arrives first because both flights were cancelled when the airline went out of business at noon.

* When you take your children to a bounce-house place for a birthday party and you end up playing in the bounce houses, is it a good or bad thing when you are leaving at the end of the night and the birthday girl’s parents pat you on the back and say ‘thanks for being the entertainment?’ They did say it with a smile, but my sarcasm detector was picking up a little something.

* I’m hoping there is no special afterlife place for insects. With Spring in full bloom here, I think I killed about 3,000 butterflies yesterday while driving through the countryside for work. And what’s worse is that I forgot to clean the evidence mess off my windshield last night. I did try to use the windshield wipers in cleaner mode this morning, but it really didn’t help and just streaked everywhere. I just kept trying it in vain like in those made for TV movies where the killer feels remorse and stands in the shower trying to wash the blood off. Great, I’m driving around in a freakin’ crime scene now.

* Has anyone else ever had to try to kill a gopher (I say try because I am in my third year of ‘trying’) that your children think is cute every time it pops its sinister head up? I feel like the stern cowboy father in those sappy movies who is the one that has to take the old dog or horse outback and put it to sleep by shooting it. Why does the mother or uncle or next-door neighbor or hired hand or grizzled old grandmother never have to do it? I guess I should stop complaining since these are the problems you face when accepting the challenge of living on the frontier (of new suburban developments, I mean).

* My coworker and I spent an hour at work the other day with our assistant trying to figure out what the difference between an FYI and a ‘heads up’ is. Turns out there really isn’t one, but we did finally come to an agreement that ‘heads up’ sounds less official and creates much less anxiety. We went with ‘FYI.’

* Social Acceptance tip: If your Ipod contains the Carpenters (and I won’t ask why, as I’d like the same treatment in return), don’t bring your Ipod to work unless the shuffle feature is off. Or at the very least, pause it when you leave your desk so you don’t return to a cubicle full of coworkers saying things like ‘yeah, I think it is the Carpenters’ or ‘gheesh Michael random male coworker, how old are you?’