The Gettin’ Ready Song

No, that’s not a real song title. I mean there is the Temptations’ song called ‘Get Ready,’ but that’s about a different subject matter. That one is more of a warning to a lover or some chick that doesn’t wish to be the lover but is about to be pursued by 5 really swell guys all dressed the same who can dance to the music as one. Ok, I think that clears that up. I guess I never admitted to the blog world that I once wanted to be a Temptation. Don’t laugh; if it weren’t for that Peter Brady-like period in ’92 when my voice kept cracking whenever I would sing, I might have become the bass voice for The Temps. Well, until they saw me dance.

But enough about spilled dairy products, what I mean is the song you listen to or at least mentally play in your head while you get ready for a day at work or an evening out or maybe a job interview or like me, just taking the trash out. You know what I’m talking about here, right? It’s that song that fills you with confidence, inspires you and helps you walk just a little taller. And no, before this gets out of hand and nasty rumors start, my getting’ ready song is not from the songbook of the great Barry Manilow. It’s also not the theme to The Office, though I do hum that ‘incessantly,’ as my coworkers are fond of telling HR. Nor is it from Frank Sinatra or even Dean Martin or Bobby Darin. I’ll admit that those three play prominent roles in the soundtrack of my life, but in this case, they have become supporting cast.

It just occurred to me that maybe not everyone has a mental soundtrack that accompanies their life. Perhaps I should expand on that a little more so that you understand what I am talking about here. Simply put, you do things and it makes you think of a certain song. In fact, you may or may not hum or hear the appropriate music while doing the thing that made you think of the song in the first place. OK, I’ll admit, this whole idea seemed a lot better before I actually started committing it to paper. Now I’m just trying to fill empty space until I can wrap this up (as evidenced by those last two sentences that basically said the exact same thing. It was the same writing technique that got me through high school and college), because as some of the regular readers here have noted, the end of a post can sometimes be the most swell part (as I laugh, nervously. Hehe.) Once again, this is one of those times when I’ve already written too much to scrap it all and begin something new. Not only is that approach to writing efficient; it’s also lazy. So, my apologies in advance, but I am going to continue.

Music means a lot to me and adding music to our most mundane or enjoyable events is the spice or marinade on the tough and too lean piece of meat that is our metaphorical life. It softens it, makes it easier to enjoy and most certainly makes it more memorable. Unless of course you let is sit too long, at which point it just becomes overly mushy. And honestly, at this point I can no longer tell if I’m still writing about the soundtrack of life or metaphorical cuts of marinating beef. However, I will attempt to give you a few examples (of the mental soundtrack. I lack the dry ice required to give you examples of meat and the shipping would be tremendous). And now, a few examples…

When I am sneaking around the office (the reason WHY I am sneaking isn’t important), I often hum The James Bond theme. It makes it so much more exciting. And speaking of James Bond songs, whenever Lucy and Ethel accidentally strike me in the Man Area/Manitalia, I hear Tom Jones singing ‘Thunderball,’ but I guess that’s taking things in an entirely different direction. On those few occasions when I see animals doing that natural thing that eventually leads to more animals in the back parking lot of our office space, I hear Marvin Gaye’s ‘Let’s Get It On.’ When I find a way to overcome adversity, be it not being able to reach the top cabinet to put a dish away until I climb up on the counter or spell the word rhythm correctly instead of taking me the usual seven attempts, I hear Frank Sinatra’s ‘High Hopes.’ To me, there’s just nothing as inspiring as that little ole ant who actually had the audacity to think he could move that rubber tree plant.

During those two to three times a year that I use tools (like a hammer or a butter knife) I always sing James Taylor’s ‘I’m Your Handy Man.’ Whenever I have to go through multiple doors like in a building lobby, yep, I whistle the theme from ‘Get Smart.’ When I see two people that normally would not look like they belong together, I sing the ‘Odd Couple’ theme. At those times when I am overcome with the urge to dance the happy dance, I often hum the theme from ‘The Dick Van Dyke Show.’

Ok, I guess that was more than a few examples, but shirley surely you now know what I am talking about. Truth be told, you may have understood what I was talking about way back in paragraph two, verse one when Eve turned to Adam and mentioned something about an apple. Sorry, the verse, paragraph thing got me all biblical there for a moment. More than any of the other songs that are featured in my daily soundtrack, the one I enjoy most is by Carly Simon. And for those of you that guessed ‘You’re So Vain,’ well, you’re so wrong. It’s actually ‘Nobody Does It Better’ from ‘The Spy Who Loved Me.’ Granted, there are only about 7 words in the entire song that actually apply to me, but I hum it instead of singing it, so the words seem to lose their importance. Hmm, now I’m thinking I should pick a song where the words do matter. Oh blurg, I’ve just wasted your time…