You Know It’s A Slow Day At Work When…

Well, first of all, you come home from work and actually want to write something detailing how slow the day at work was. That’s a pretty good hint right there. It also may be a sign that I am way too into this blogging thing.

Your coworker takes the time to get up from his seat, round his cubicle wall and come tell you personally that he is working on the mother lode of all useless data reports. And you get slightly excited about it for a moment.

You actually volunteer to accompany Female Coworker to small claims court, just knowing that she will be found in contempt. Unless of course you are found in contempt for telling her repeatedly to shut up so that she is not found in contempt. It’s a pretty vicious cycle.

You find yourself daydreaming about two desert tortoises racing. And the daydream lasts long enough to see who the winner is.

You remove the Dwight Schrute head stress ball from the top of your monitor and wash it. You are also found talking soothingly to it while scrubbing his head.

No phone is heard ringing for over 36 minutes and 43 seconds. When it finally did ring, it was someone’s spouse with a grocery request. And I’m not even sure that counts as an office phone call.

You contemplate calling a coworker’s client to tell them that their contract has been terminated just to shake things up for a few hours.

Female Coworker asks us what type of juice is the best to clean a penny so she can help her daughter with a science project and we all spend the next 30 minutes arguing amongst ourselves about our answers. Final analysis: we were torn between lime and tomato, though I still assert that cola is the best.

You and your coworkers take the time to listen to the oft-annoying guy in the office try to record his outgoing voicemail message 6 times before he gets it right. Obviously his final success is applauded by everyone in the office.


*On a different and unrelated note altogether, I noticed something I wanted to share while browsing through Valentine’s Day cards. Hallmark has all these great sound cards now where you open the card up and it plays the original version of some song that barely relates to the theme of the card. They had a lot of classic TV themed ones and I looked at a card that had Radar from MASH on the front. When you opened it up, it plays the original instrumental theme from MASH (one of the greatest TV shows of all time, by the way). Does anyone remember the name of the theme song from MASH? It was ‘Suicide is Painless.’ Does that strike anyone else as just the teeniest bit odd for a Valentine’s Day card? Maybe it’s just me.